Zi’s Story: my childhood

Zi’s Story: my childhood

I tell people I trust that I was molested
which in my mind, seems far from the truth.
Maybe if I was only molested,
I wouldn’t have as many problems
as I do now. I wasn’t just molested –
I was raped, beaten and mentally abused.
I was isolated. I had dressers thrown at me.
I bled from my father raping me when I was
two, I had bruises from my step dad when I
was 12, I remember nights when I was 14,
wasted because my father forced me to drink
enough to where my older step brother
could have his way with me.
I tell my current boyfriend that he’s only
the second guy to have sex with me and
the guy before him strictly used condoms.
In this lifetime, I’ve had five men fuck me
and only two of those men were consensual.
Only two of them used condoms, too.
Him, not being one of them. =)

Because although my past was rough,
I’m over it and I’m already ready to be in a
relationship. It’s been five years and as of
November 3rd, 2020, it will be the start
of one whole one with him. I think he’s
perfect for me. He understands all of my
flaws and difficulties but he still loves me
for who I am and everything about him
is all I’ve ever wished for in a person
and out of all of the time that we’ve spent
together, we haven’t had a single complaint
about one another, only nice things to say.

So yeah, he doesn’t use condoms
but why should I want him to?
He means everything to me and I’d love to
birth his babies. I think he would raise them
1,000x better than either of my dads did.
Due to my permanent depression and
suicidal intentions, if I ever had kids and
they had to be left with their father due to
my death, I would want them to be left
with him. Out of all of the men in the world,
I think that he would be their best bet.
He’s so amazing~. 😊❤️✨

I’m generally a happy person
but these are all of the things that I don’t say
because I think they sound bad.

TLDR: unfiltered

Author

WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

Related