Anonymous Story: It Would Tear my Family Apart

I was sexually abused by my younger cousin when I was 10. All of my cousins would always go up to my grandparents in the summer to swim because they had the best pool out of all of us. Me and my cousins used to do so many things together. We would play in the woods, play with legos, it was always (usually) a fun time. And being kids, me and my younger cousin used to play house when we would go there. We were playing in the spare bedroom. We were pretending to sleep during playing house. That’s when it began. My cousin slipped his hand up my shirt, and then up my leg. I was shocked.. I couldn’t even form words. A few weeks later, we were playing doctor, and that’s when it started. He started trying to take my clothes off, and I asked him what he was doing. He told me not to say a word. He was a heavy kid so I couldn’t physically get him off me. He touched me. Everywhere. I remember him telling me to keep my eyes shut. I would have to always be face down. He never wanted me to be able to see him. This went on for two years. He told me that whenever he did stuff to me, he would report it back to his cousin( on his mothers side of the family, not related to me). Then, his cousin would tell him what else to do to me. I’ve always wondered if his cousin abused him. It went on for about two years. I always thought that if I told anyone, people would believe him because he was younger. Then after a while, I stopped going up there when he was there, to try to avoid it. It eventually stopped, but I will always carry those memories with me. Ive only told two people because I think it’s my fault. I was older, I should of tried harder to get out from under it when it first started. I will never be able to tell my family. I have kept it hidden for 7 years, and just writing it all out right now, feels like a major burden off my shoulders.