Tara’s Story: Support

I am the third generation of childhood sexual abuse in my family.

Three generations of girls who were treated like their purpose was to please men who held power over them.

I was the first to tell and be believed. I was 7, I was terrified, and I told my mom.

I was supposed to go to a sleep over so she could go out with friends. I refused to go. 2 hours of her shutting down all my excuses and telling me I had no choice, I finally blurted it out.

She held me, she told me she believed me and that she would make it stop.

With her support, I told the detectives when they interviewed me and I told the judge when it was taken to court. I ended up being the only one who would face that man. A representative for 15 other children… including my best friend, his daughter. He was the worst sort of man, one who hid behind religion. Who used his children as a lure to get to their friends and spread his poison through our neigbourhood.

In a room full of adults who in my minds eye loomed 12 feet tall, I pointed him out. And he couldn’t. even. look. at me. Me! A tiny little child, who had to sit on a block to see over the rail surrounding the witness stand. And him, the big bad wolf who had said he would hurt my mom of I told anyone.

Afterwards I cried for days, I had nightmares for years, I saw a therapist every week until I turned 15. But it was worth it.
He was convicted of sexual assault and deported back to his home country after serving jail time here.

I’m 35 now. I can still rememeber clearly each piece of innocence he stole from me, and sometimes those old nightmares raise their ugly head. But there’s satisfaction in knowing I stole power from him. Put the spotlight on HIS shame. Stopped him from hurting more.

Telling someone what this man, this grown up, this powerful person did to me. It allowed me to heal, and gave me the opportunity to confront in a controlled environment.

I implore those of you who have had a similar experience, be it current or past, tell someone. Take back your power, they’re only powerful because they steal it. Maybe it won’t end in a court, but it will bring light to THEIR shame and lighten your shoulders. Talk about it with someone, take it out of the shadows so it can’t be the boogie man.

Be the first.