I tried collecting myself to text a friend to let them know where I was and what had happened, but I couldn't focus or coordinate myself. I have no idea how long I was in the washroom for. It couldn't have been for long, but what I can remember about that part of the night is that two people escorted me out the club through the back door away from my friends.
But when I woke up at 6AM him fingering me and trying to cram his dick inside me, I don’t think I consented to that. When I tried to roll over to the other side, to cross my legs, to avoid it as much as possible, I don’t think I consented to that. When he said “oh you don’t like that, huh” and continued, I really don’t think I consented to that.
How the fuck did I get in this situation? I was working really hard not to get this fucked. I worked so hard to not be a whore. Does this act make me a whore? A slut? I am a whore. I am a slut. Why the fuck did I even talk to this guy. Why the fuck did I get myself into this situation. This situation sucks. Not knowing anything sucks. I hate this. I will never know what really happened.
I hope this gets out to someone in a similar situation, who doubts themselves because their partner never gives clear answers. I used to fight, but I have become a coward. I hope to fight again one day.
He does not deserve to be able to continue this career of his without any action being held against him. He is the definition of a sexual pretador and should be seen as nothing short of it. He hurt me in more ways than I could’ve ever imagined. I wish for the life of me I would have never even met him. He is disgusting.
I think I've been raped. I go back in my room and laugh about my sexual escapades with my roommates, not telling them what I really think happened.
I woke up in the morning sore and covered in scrapes. My friends were all discussing the night before and my best friend said she couldn’t find me for like an hour and then she saw me coming out of the forest wearing pants that were way too big on me. She said I couldn’t even speak properly and I had stripes of blood on my cheeks. She immediately took me to take a morning after pill.
Three years ago I drank too much on New Years. I was put to bed by a friend at a house party. A guy came in. I knew who he was because I was pushing him away all night. He got on top of me. He tried to kiss me. I think I tried to push him off. I think I said stop. I think I said no. I was saying no to him all night. But he didn’t stop.
I had no dignity anymore, i felt lost. I felt dirty, a nobody, like fog in my mind, filled with regret.
The next day, you feel hollow and empty but you go to work and come home. You pass him in the hall back to your dorm room. He’s with a bunch of his buddies and smirks at you, laughing with his buddies because they all know. You hear that he’s started to tell people that you’re a slut and is saying terrible things about your body.
About 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant, he was going to buy me an illegal abortion pill online. I decided that was not safe and went to my parents and told them what had happened (my friend asked me to keep her and her boyfriend out of it, considering they were there that night) so I did as instructed and told the police I didn’t know the attacker, which was a dumb mistake. I finally came out and told the truth. Anyways, she told them it never happened and they believe her since I lied about not knowing him.
Clothes were taken off and kisses were exchanged as we moved to her bed. Once naked, I realized it was too much for me and told her I wanted to stop and sleep. She initially agreed but soon resumed her touching and groping.
I began to panic that I wasn't going to get out. He wasn't going to let me leave. I asked if I could go to the toilet. I had the crazy idea that I would just run. But he came with me. He sat outside the toilet door. I started to cry in the toilet. There was literally no escape. I didn't even have my shoes. He started banging on the door and told me to hurry up. When I opened the door, he walked me back to his bedroom.
Here's what I remember: He completely undressed me and pushed me up against the washer/dryer and then onto the floor. It literally felt like I was having an out of body/mind experience. The only things I can remember saying were "Do you think (his girlfriend's name) would be okay with this?" He said "probably not" and kept going. I remember watching him spit onto his hands because I was too dry. At some point, I said "If this is going to happen, then she needs to be here" and pushed him off. I put my clothes back on and stumbled back upstairs. I said this wanting to escape, and knowing that I would never want to do anything with both of them. I did NOT want this to happen at all.
slipped and fell to the ground. He raped me. The next morning I asked and he teased me. He tormented for years with name calling and abusive behavior.
Eventually he asked for sex. I said no. He kept trying to convince me. I said no. He gave up and went back to kissing. Later i got ready to go to bed and put on a pair of shorts. He kept touching my ass and fooling around but I kept saying no sex. I felt a sharp pain inside me and i cried out. He had forced himself inside me.
I've been raped many times, so many times i cannot even count. I've had sex with 40 guys and they have been everything from sweet and charming to downright horrendous.
I felt guilty identifying with people who had experienced more violent encounters, so I downplayed it in my head, and to others. I instantly became more withdrawn sexually. I stopped having sex for about a year, and when I started again I would often have panic attacks during sex. Then I would feel guilty for ruining the sexual experience for the other participant.
When did he decide he was going to do it? When he saw me trying to get into the house? Was it a quick decision that he was going to take advantage of this situation that had presented itself? Has he done it again to other girls and women? I've tried looking him up on FB, just so I could see his face. I couldn't find him. I was curious for some reason if he had gotten married, had children. Was he still partying, abusing others? I needed to see a picture of my abuser. I needed to see a picture of the man that stole my innocence, that deprived me of something I had cherished.
Around 1 am he came into my bedroom and raped me. (I had rollers in my hair!) He left and as i walked him to the door shaking my head and told him how he abused my trust. He called me the next day at work. I said I cannot believe you would even think I would talk to you, and i hung up. I blamed myself.
I went to the bathroom and threw up from nervousness. I cried and hyperventilated until I threw up again. I washed my face and put on my clothes. They reeked of cigarettes and alcohol. I check my phone and of course, it's dead. I leave the hotel, get on the next bus home, and cry some more to myself.
I felt really bad about it and I blamed myself for it, I mean I did nothing about it.. ever since I don’t trust guys anymore. I don’t feel comfortable with my body anymore and I have serious trust issues.
I remember the man supporting my weight as we walked down the street and him asking me my age, I clearly remember telling him I was 16. This is important because the legal age of homosexual sex wasn’t lowered to 16 until 2001, and this was 1997 so even if I had consented to what was about to happen (which i didn’t) by the laws of the time it was rape.
After the attack I started to walk off, he said to me what's wrong? I replied saying I said no, his come back to this was "sometimes no means yes when it comes to women".
es, I was drunk in a boys room, but he pursued me and attempted to rape my unconscious body. And that act I believe has changed my life, in some small way. Made me less worthy. More worthy of criticism and blame, lower moralled. Less worthy of love.
But at this point it wasn’t really even my body anymore. It was his. He had control of it, and that’s all it I was to him. A body. A limp lifeless body. It felt as if he had taken my humanity away from me, as if I wasn't even a person anymore, as if I was just a thing.
I just sat in my friend’s room naked crying until he came back. He came in and asked where my clothes were and I explained I didn’t know what happened but that someone was in the room with me and left as soon as I figured out what was going on.
i never had many male friends but you are flamboyant and easy to talk to you feel like a brother it’s always film talk and laughter we make dirty jokes and talk about the women we lust after. and then
I kept my mouth shut and I tried to angle myself so that he couldn't touch me that way. It was the longest seven minutes of my life. The car barely even made a stop and I jumped out and ran as quickly as I could into my apartment.
I'm a virgin, I do not think at all that J might want sex. Soon however he is touching me all over. I am less comfortable. This is not really what I want. I go along with it, afraid and embarrassed to stop something that I feel I am partly responsible for. I've led him on. Suddenly, things quite literally get out of hand. He's pushing his penis in to me and it's agony.
I had so much to drink that night I didn't feel him touching me or attempting to undress me. I went outside where they had him and hit him repeatedly until they pulled me away.
I didn't really know that it "counted" as rape. He cuddled up to me after raping me, and that hurts so much when I remember that. How dare he? It hurt me for so long. It is hard to tell people, especially when they tell me to move on, or be stronger.
I went 4 years without remembering. When I turned 23 it all came back to me suddenly through nightmares and flash backs. I cannot even hear anyone talk about rape without becoming upset.
So on the 6th October 2009 at 2:50AM I was raped, by my bestfriends boyfriend and his bestfriend. All I remember from the time that it was happening was the looking at the moon. I dont know why. I just tried to imagining being anywhere at the moment other then being in that room.
Knowing the details of that moment won't do anything for you anyway, and I've unburdened myself in the necessary and applicable safe spaces. It's been far too hard as it is walking around smiling when I'm crying inside.
I drank too much at a bar, and asked someone I knew to take me home since I was too wasted to drive. When we got there, I was feeling affectionate and invited him in. I just wanted to make
I was 21 at the time and on holiday this was about 7 years ago now, I’ve never told anyone about it. For some reason it’s been really affecting me in the last month. Me and my friend’s had been
I was a person and a girl and a wife……now I feel like nothing Life seems to have targeted me just as the 2 men that raped me I have been trying to find out what makes some girls targets
I was with a friend, who had a fiance and child. We had hung out many times and he would what I considered “joking around” had asked me questions like “would you have sex with me?” “Wanna make out?” I
After some hours of sleep I woke up. Pictures in my head. I tried to convince myself it wasn't real, that wasn't me who experienced that. I was there, but I was just watching. Watching my body get raped, but my soul already died.