And now months and months later I am trying to heal myself, heal the scars on my body, and the torment and flashbacks that haunt my thought. I am trying to feel peace, because I will kill myself believing my worth is only In sexually pleasing a man. I feel really small sometimes, and do feel worthless still sometimes, mostly I am ashamed that this has happened, embarrassed, and broken. But this is a first step, and now I am letting strength back into my life, and proving those thoughts I have wrong. I don't want to be depressed all the time, I want to lead a normal healthy life & me writing this is me taking the first step of that journey