Persons, A, B and C

I recently watched a documentary called, ‘It Happened Here’ about college sexual assault survivors and their transitioning into activists. While watching the documentary a lot of truth rang true and it felt like someone had punched me in the gut. One of the girls said as soon as she realized what had happened too her she felt like her life up until that 21 years had been separated into chapters of A, B and C. That same emotion is exactly how I felt after I was assaulted.

I felt like the 23 years up until the assault had gone, they were no more. They didn’t exist anymore and neither did the girl I used to be. She was long gone and I wanted to know where she was. Then for me the period of B came into play I was now a girl who had been assaulted, I was now one of the statistics and no longer a person. I separated everything I had been to who I was at the time of the assault and I didn’t like who I was anymore. It took years for me to finally move into stage C to the point where I was strong enough to really fight back and be who I was again before the assault with an additional strength I didn’t know I had.

 

It was interesting to me that the girls didn’t go to the police straight away, I was advised into going to the police and I honestly thought it was the best thing I was ever going to do. Until that is, when I went to the police and then it became very clear to me why women do not report rape more often. The police process is so tedious and so emotionally draining but we all know it’s a crucial part of the puzzle. (?) I felt like I needed a team of people who I thought I could trust and who would help me through this traumatic time.

 

Much like the documentary these girls did not get the help they needed straight away and one girl even said that the aftermath and the way people handled it after was worse then the assault itself.

 

I too was blamed for getting raped. The officer who handled my case said, “in her opinion it was my fault, I was too drunk (I had had one drink which the guy had given me) and in her opinion I must have consented.

 

I filed a report to report that police officer. So now not only am I reporting a rape I am reporting a misconduct as to how the case was handled. Beyond ridiculous.

 

When a girl turns around and tells you she has been raped then you need to help that girl. Not all girls are strong enough to make it through and at the time I was raped I honestly didn’t think I was strong enough to get passed it.

 

People don’t like to talk about it because it has such a stigma and it is happening right now, on college campuses, girls being forced into sex trafficking, girls being raped as an act of war. It’s happening everyday.

 

The more you talk about your assault the more others will open up and the more you can heal in the company of others alike and become a strong warrior. You are not alone and even when you feel the darkness loom over you as we all have had happen, it will eventually get brighter for you. If you don’t think you’re strong enough to talk about it or do something about it, trust me, you are. Then stage C will come into play and you’ll be a strong, fierce woman you never thought you would be.

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