Octavia’s Story: It was the man I trusted most

I was dating a guy that i had no business being with. He was around 20, and I was around 13…I looked a lot older than my actual age..I had no one watching me …both parents either drunk, or in deep depression. I was on my own a lot, drugs had gotten the best of me …and this guy (we will call me [C]) was my supply, as long as i did what he wanted. I dated him from the age 13, until 16. In that time period he had beaten me multiple times, I had overdosed twice …and I had been placed in a mental hospital for attempted suicide. I was raped by a staff remember while in the Mental Hospital ….i was taken into a room they call the quiet room …..he came to the window and entered the room ….once he was inside he became very violent ( I will refer to him as [S]) he kept telling me he could f**k my world up ….and if i didn’t hold still he would lie to my counselor and doctor and i wouldn’t get out on my release date …he told me to lay still it would be over quick..[S] raped me many times while I was there…when i told on him he turned it into a racist thing…..i let it go…another year went by …I ended up back with [C].. …we had been doing Heroine …I woke up laying in the floor beside the bed…my arms were bruised, and my face was busted up from fighting with [C] the night before …I walked into the hall and heard another voice …it was our dealer…he was mad about a debt we owed him ….[C] was arguing with him because we didn’t have the money …[C] looked up to me and smiled …he told him I would have sex with him for the debt ….I was shocked ..dumbfounded ….had no idea what to say …I shook my head no in protest …he pulled me to the bedroom telling me it would be over fast …if i just laid and let him do it ..it wouldn’t last long …I told him no repeatedly ….the dealer came in the room behind him ….he looked at me as he took his jacket off and [C] shut the door behind him …My mind went crazy with ideas on how to escape …he came at me …i had no where to go …he pushed me into the floor …i screamed for [C] so much that i didn’t recognize my own voice …..before I could do anything more he was pulling my clothes from my body ..i kicked and screamed …he told me to keep fighting that it turned him on …that made my stomach turn …he put a switch blade to my side and told me to get on my knees face down with my bottom up ……i cried and refused he slammed me into the floor and hit my head repeatedly off the floor …I don”t remember much but bits and pieces after …my memories are hazy …I remember feeling him enter me and him moving ..but not much else….when I woke up i was on the bed and still naked …with [C] on top of me ..having sex with me like nothing happened … ….