NA’s Story: I was Raped by A Teenage Girl

I never thought rape would happen to me, I always saw rape stories on tv or the Internet. Most of them would be of guy raped girl, or stranger raped unconscious being. It was always someone they didn’t know or someone they were together with. But my attacker was a 14 year old girl, same age as me, and the same sex.

I thought of her as a best friend someone I could trust and tell all my embarrassing secrets too, and someone I could stay up all night with and have a good time. It was about 5 am we were just going to bed. I was starting to fall asleep as she started touching my thigh I told her to stop I’m trying to sleep thinking she was just trying to get my attention. Then she started tickling my side, I thought “funny”. So I pushed her hand away. Her hand reached down and slightly touched my butt, then I knew it was going to far.

With a flick of my wrist I threw her hand off and told her to stop being weird and go to bed. I turned my body facing upwards so she couldn’t touch me like that anymore. I started to daze off again, her hand went up my shirt and up my bra, my eyes widened as she violently grab my boob, and jumped on top of me all in one motion. She started kissing my neck I told her to stop. I pleaded for her to just go to sleep. Tears filled up my eyes as she told me “shh, it’s okay, you’ll like it”. I was so scared and confused as she started to thrust against my leg and suck on my boob. I didn’t know what to do, I started to panic and couldn’t breath, thinking “this is all my fault”.

I pushed her down and told her to lay down, giving her the notion she went to far”. Then she shoved her hand down my pants forcefully, and made me shove mine down hers. She tried to calm me down by telling me “no one will find out, don’t worry you aren’t cheating”. (As I’ve been loyal in a serious relationship for two years) I removed my hand and twisted my body so she would stop, she didn’t. I started crying even harder, my whole face was filled in sweat and tears. Wondering when this nightmare will ever stop. She finally stopped, then she just layer there and got on her phone. As if everything was okay. I was laying there violated l, crying, shaking, confused and overwhelmed with the feeling of guilt, and regret. I wanted to go home so badly, I wanted to wish I never went over there.

I went home that morning. I still haven’t told anyone, I’m to scared of what will happen. I’m scared my boyfriend will leave me for he cant handle that I was raped by a girl. Or my mother will be disappointed that I didn’t tell her sooner. Or the media with criticize me for “nothing went inside me” even tho I was still sexually violated in ways most people can’t imagine. I’m lost and confused, I feel broken inside, violated, disgusted with myself. I can’t even look at myself without thinking of that night and how my body was a body of a rape victim.

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This is an anonymous story submitted via our website.