Anonymous Story: Quite in my Misery

Why open my eyes, if the eyes you see is hate and misery,
My lips are sealed but you know what’s I’m speaking,
Why move when you tie me down.
Living doesn’t seem to exists but I stay to protect our 4 innocent kids. And sometimes u deny them or teach them that I’m bad..
I know what I should do but why do you have this hold on me. This control!, will the gates of Hell ever open up for you to fall in, or is my eternal torture my own doings. I’m always bruised from my face arms and ribs, I’m so numb sometimes to your beatings that I start to only think that’s a feeling and I can feel something. Pain feels good sometimes.
Plz someone tell me how to escape, I know there’s resource but the system has failed me. I don’t want my two daughters to ever go through this,