Michy’s Story: when he kicked me in the ribs when i was 2 weeks pregnant

Michy’s Story: when he kicked me in the ribs when i was 2 weeks pregnant

February 3, 2018 is when I met him: He swept me off my feet and had me head over heels. I had just come home (a month before meeting him) from a natural disaster (a hurricane category 5) and my brain was in a fog, wanting to get cleared up. We moved in together two months later, despite the red flags of his jealousy and control issues blatantly in my face, and eventually, he began being abusive. I was two weeks pregnant when he got into a rage and kicked me in the ribs, screaming “KILL IT”. I got an abortion as soon as I could, and he was very upset that I was getting an abortion. The abuse didn’t stop there. He also threw a milkshake in my face, threw water at my face and called me “whore” and didn’t believe me that I was raped when I was 16, claiming, “You weren’t raped, you’re a whore.” Writing this now, I have no idea how I could have been emotionally attached to someone like this: perhaps because I was holding on to the good times, because he knew how to be very affectionate and loving. Simpyl put: I loved the way he loved me when he loved me. Not when he was a monster.

He would drag me around the apartment, we would push each other, wrestle with each other… The neighbors eventually called the police and he got arrested for Domestic Violence (a felony in California). But the charges were dropped because a) I bailed him out of jail – $500 which I never got back, not to mention his parents basically told me it’s my fault he’s in jail and they wouldn’t bail him out — and b) the charges were dropped because I didn’t say a word of the actual abuse he put me through, because had I shared with the courts what he did to me, he would have been in jail for a very long time. I did get a temporary restraining order a month later because he locked me in a public storage unit for a minute and then dragged me out of the storage unit by my ankles… I loved him, and it was confusing, and I didn’t want to see his life severely affected. He is a broker at CBRE in LA and he would have gotten his real estate license taken away, not to mention he wouldn’t be able to get his law license (he went to law school). Again, he would have deserved it. But I don’t believe in eye for an eye.

He got his karma though: His entire savings got depleted because he had to pay his lawyer to help him drop the charges.

Now I understand today that his life IS severely affected, as he has to self-medicate with weed and alcohol to not feel the pain of what he did. If he ever acts like that with another woman and she reports it or someone else reports it, he is going to jail no questions asked. Sometimes I think that if I ever find out he is dating someone, I will want to tell her of his abuse to me, to save her from getting abused by him. But I think that justice will be served in other ways, and I should let the universe handle that. Part of taking back my strength and power is sharing my story with others.

I am in graduate school studying to be a therapist, and I learned from the experience that I am fiercely loyal and committed — even to the wrong person. I win in the end, because I’m still standing strong, feeling beautiful, and knowing that better is coming.

Author

WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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