Kyle Elliott’s Story: Coming Out As A Male Rape Survivor

Kyle Elliott’s Story: Coming Out As A Male Rape Survivor

As a gay man, I am perpetually ‘coming out’ to those I interact with. At 27 years old, the words, “I’m gay” now slip off my tongue as easily as, “I would like a grande soy, sugar-free vanilla latte please.”

Living in San Francisco, it is easy to share — proudly — that I am queer. Whether it the Castro or in Union Square, I rarely worry about homophobia or being called a “faggot” when holding my lover’s hand while walking down the street.

However, ‘coming out’ as a male rape survivor feels less palpable. The words, “I was raped” do not slip off my tongue as easily as my afternoon coffee order. (Will they ever?)

Thanks to lots of therapy and medication, the panic attacks I used to experience when talking about my rape are now less frequent. Yet it is still not easy to share the details of that brutal attack.

I have been able to recover and heal by sharing my story and speaking about the after-effects of rape — the severe and persistent PTSD, the sleepless nights, and the difficulty trusting people.

I have also healed by hearing the stories of other survivors who were inspired by my vulnerability.

This is how we cure stigma — one story at a time.

Kyle Elliott



When You're is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.



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