Kerri’s Story: You Took the Best Part of Me

When I was 14 I used to like going to my cousin’s house on the weekend because of the other kids there. Little did I know I was being watched stared at and completely taken advantage of. I remember that day like it was yesterday…I was wearing long winnie the pooh overalls with a red short sleeved shirt. It was a normal day so I thought until my mother and cousin went to the store and I wanted to go out and play with the other kids, but he said no I needed to stay in. I really didn’t understand but I wasn’t a bad child so I did as I was told. He grabbed me removed my clothes and forced his way inside me taking my innocence away from me. All the while telling I better not say a word because if I did it would be the biggest mistake of my life. I was 14 and I really didnt understand until after he was done he made me sit down and he said. I will single handedly ruin your mother if you say anything or do anything besides what I tell you to do from this day foward. With tears in my eyes I shook my head and began to cry. I thought the worst part was over but little did I know it was only the beginning. From that horrid Saturday in late August til one summer night about 5 years later I done what I was told because I thought I had no choice and was actually helping my mother stay a float. It actually wasn’t until about a year or so ago I was made aware that my mother had knowledge of what was going on but chose to do nothing. Sometimes I lay awake and wonder was I really traded because that’s how I feel, why me, what did I do that was so wrong? I now have a child of my own and I fear leaving him with anyone other than his father. It’s been 14 years (I’m 28 now) when will it get easier? How am Ivsupposed to deal with this? I have so many unanswered questions.