Griffin’s story: Raped by my husband

My ex husband and I are separated rightnow and in the process of a divorce. We were not married when he did it to me which is still shameful.

We were broken up for a month after I lost our baby because of preterm labor. I broke up with him because he cheated on me emotionally and physically while I was pregnant. After a month I did eventually take him back. However the day he raped me as because I found out he was in love with another women but was desperately trying to hold on to me.

So he picked me up from work and we went to his room. I was still so upset about every thing and I initially wanted to tell him in person that I don’t want to be together after finding out he was in love with someone else and for him to take me home.

He then proceeded to try and touch me and I told him to stop pushed him off and told him no. I talked to him and told him that we at not healthy for each other and that I want to end things. He then proceeded to try again. He fought me as I said no and to stop hoping he would listen. He pulled my pants down and my panties off and pushed himself Into me and I completely froze in shock and it only took two thrusts for him to come inside of me. He got off of me, pulled his pants up and I still say there frozen. Eventually I got up to put my clothes on and got off the bed. He was looking at me in shock and I broke down in tears and said you raped me. He tried to deny it and then eventually like the sick person he is tried to take a gun and threatened to kill himself and out of fear that he would I told him he didn’t and that it was just a misunderstanding and that I was okay. Secretly I was humiliated and felt so violated that I told myself that it was nothing. Eventually we got married, had two kids, and he continued to do things to hurt me emotionally, mentally, physically. I left our evicted apartment with both of our kids and am in the process of getting a divorce once and for all. I always blame myself still because I stayed with him and married him. But I never cared until I had a daughter and son and would never want what happened to me to happen to her or for my son to think it’s okay.