Changing Views with the Healing Journey

Changing Views with the Healing Journey

I remember years ago thinking people who could forgive a monster capable of harm, an abuser, rapist, a bad person– they must be nuts.  I could not fathom even the thought.  Forgiveness was a swear word.  Now, I’m feeling a shift.  I fully recognize I may still have days or weeks that I am angry or bitter but I’m moving toward choosing peace.

My definition for FORGIVENESS is to let go of bitterness toward someone who hurt you and give less thought to that which makes you focus on the negative.  My definition does not include forgetting, condoning, or not holding someone accountable.  I choose to wake up in the morning and not have anger, hurt, sadness, disgust, and fear rule over my day. I have found it unhelpful to consider a whimsical definition or one that has a hard-line rule that in order to heal you MUST forgive.

This post is an excerpt from my recent blog post which you can find here:

Everyone is different and this doesn’t make it right or wrong within the context of healing trauma, it’s just worth thinking about.

– Jen



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My name is [X]. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and rape. But that wasn't something I chose to voice openly until this year; I had to do something to move forward so I called my abuser, I called him out, It makes people uncomfortable, so some will choose to pretend nothing happened, but I know my truth. I won't take the blame any longer because the shame is not mine to bear. I am 37 and have spent more than 20 years pretending nothing bad happened. I survived ten years of childhood sexual abuse, non-consentual sexual acts/ritual abuse, emotional/psychologiocal and physical abuse and that was NOT my fault. I am so much more than a survivor! I am a warrior and my personal challenge is to be brave and show up-- to use my voice so others know they are not alone. To anyone who is seeking support, please know that you are not alone. I believe you and I'm so sorry someone hurt you. You are ENOUGH. That's what I'm striving to know for myself from deep within my soul.



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