Me Too
I’m crying for all my friends and family, and perfect strangers, who are bravely standing up to say “me too” today. And for those who aren’t in a place where they can speak up, we are here for you too.
The Last 5 Percent
I like to think I’m 95% recovered from PTSD. At my worst, I was afraid to leave my house. It took pep talks and bribery to get me out the door, even to go to the grocery store. Panic attacks
The Gaslight is ON.
I’m sorry for writing another piece about this garbage when there’s already so much of it swirling around, and I’m sure it’s adding fuel to the flames. But I have something to get off my chest and I think it’s
Not Guilty Does Not Equal Innocent
For those who were not following the trial or verdict, Jian Ghomeshi was acquitted on 4 counts of sexual assault and 1 count of choking on March 24, 2016. I know this is (several months) late. I needed time to process it all
The Great Divide
Any major trauma will split your life into two – before and after. Everything falls away and you’re left with the reality that life as you know it is over, and everything is different now. Everything you thought you knew or
The No One Told Me Series: Trust and Control
The No One Told Me Series is a compilation of nuanced thoughts, feelings, and issues that can develop after sexual assault. These issues aren’t always discussed in large media outlets, help guides, social media, or in everyday conversations. This series
Four Years Later – Here I Am
Four years ago tonight, I was fighting for my life. Last year I wrote a reflection piece, and I wanted to do another one to see how far I’ve come. Approaching The Date This year I didn’t dread the date as
The No One Told Me Series: Eye Contact
No one told me that after I shared my story, people wouldn’t be able to look me in the eye. They would look just past my shoulder, or down at their shoes, or duck to avoid me. They would mumble
The No One Told Me Series: The “I” Word
INTIMACY This is the topic I have been dreading since my first day as a WYR Blogger. There is no word I hate more in the entire English language. My friends tease me about it & try to fit
It’s OK If You Don’t Speak Out
I’ve been open with my story online for about a year now. However, I have just recently begun speaking in public, where “real life” people could see and recognize me. This has garnered many, many comments about my bravery. I appreciate
When You’re Ready on Alberta Primetime
When You’re Ready on the News! I was interviewed for a segment on Alberta Primetime, called Alberta Stories last week. It aired last night and the link is now active. In the segment I discuss the assault, the aftermath, and
We Believe: A Benefit for SACE
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to speak publicly about my experience with sexual assault and healing. The event was called We Believe: A Benefit for SACE. It was a fundraiser for the Sexual Assault Centre of Edmonton,
A letter to the next girl
This came about while I was reading the allegations against James Deen. It made my head spin. Similar to the accusations against Jian Ghomeshi, these men have patterns; MO’s. My attacker had an MO and it was almost identical to Ghomeshi. Some
You Can See It In His Eyes
I have to admit, I have a very hard time reading some of the stories that we post on this site. These stories are so important to share. They are therapeutic for the writer on so many levels. They help friends and
The No One Told Me Series: Secondary Trauma
I wrote earlier about What to Do When You Don’t Recognize Yourself in the Mirror, and promised to write about more of the nuanced things that self-help books and articles don’t really teach you. Well, I stumbled across another thing
Savannah Badalich: Changing the Discussion on Sexual Assault
I read an article in the Washington Post that really stuck out to me. It can be found here. The article is about Savannah Badalich, who was sexually assaulted by a friend at a student government conference two weeks into her
You’re in the Driver’s Seat
“You’re in the driver’s seat” My detective told me, for at least the 10th time. “You can decide how we are going to handle this” Sticking with the car analogy – if I was in the driver’s seat, it was
The No One Told Me Series: When You Don’t Recognize Yourself in the Mirror
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize the reflection staring back at me. I didn’t realize that this happens to other people until I read an article about PTSD in first responders. The article hits very close to home
Showing Up & Sexual Assault Awareness Month
April is a tough month for me. It’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and it’s also the month when I was attacked. So here I am trying to forget and people just want me to be aware! Aware of the worst
Thank You
Hi all, This is just a quick thank you to our community! We have been overwhelmed time and time again by the outpouring of support from our friends and family, and also from complete strangers and new friends! We read
Sleeping With The Lights On
Let’s talk about nightmares. A couple of people have asked me about them recently, and I think it’s time to shed some light on this. I had them every night for about 18 months. Sometimes up to 6 a night.
The Rape Joke
I went to a comedy show last weekend. It took me a long time to convince myself to go, as a theatre isn’t really a good place for a person who is scared of the dark, large crowds, and confined
Innocent Until Proven Guilty
“Innocent until proven guilty” is a term often used to protect the accused. When people say “I won’t make a decision until I have all of the evidence”, what evidence are they looking for? Not taking a side is taking a
Jan Huang and the Case Against Pick-Up Artists
Jan Huang is a self-proclaimed pick-up artist in Vancouver. He charges around $1,000 for a 3 day ‘boot camp’ where he tries to teach men confidence, social skills, and the art of picking up women. Jan has now been accused of
After I shared
Like a lot of survivors who have shared their stories, I had no idea what to expect afterwords. I had drafted up my story in October, shortly after I was interviewed for an article by The Canadian Press. My uncle,
It’s Never Okay – The Plan
Kathleen Wynne and the Government of Ontario have released an action plan to solve a major issue: sexual assault and harassment. This action plan is titled “It’s Never Okay”. It’s 40 pages long, and is available in plain English (and
Climbing Out of a Deep, Dark, Hole
Hi everyone! I am very excited to join Lauren in this adventure. It has been my dream for some time to help bring awareness, healing, and hope to real live people, and I am happy to say that I am