Anonymous Story: Trying to Heal & Expose a Rapist

over 30 years ago…
a typical high school party – drinking… yes I was. we all were.
8th graders crashing their older brothers’ party found me passed out on a couch
I had just turned 17
my memories include:
– classmates putting me on the couch at the lake cabin in an unheated room with blankets piled on top of me to keep me warm.
– the sensation of being penetrated vaginally & a weight on top of me
– a commotion & the weight I was feeling being removed or pulled off
– “what the fuck are you doing?” someone said to someone “get out of here! go!”

A classmate that was at the party later asked me what I remembered, but I tried to get his side of the story first. NO idea if what he was telling me was true or not. He was, after all, related to the 8th grader that was pulled off of me. I was told he was punched & given a black eye by his older brother.
The crew (I’m told there were 3 in that room with me) of 8th graders then spread rumors that I had “fucked a cabin full of guys”, which was totally untrue. It was my younger brother that told me about this rumor decades later.

Looking at photos from before that day & after that day, you can see that the sparkle & confidence left me that night.
It’s affected my entire life, my family, my marriage, and so much more.
How do you heal?
How do you get justice 30 years later?