Anonymous Story: Tears and Shame

Dear Victims, supporters
I’m Arabic male 27 Yrs Old (at that time), and I’m .. Depressed,
my story started when I was 3 I got raped by my neighbor ..like regularly and when I was 7 we moved out, and we moved out to other city and I was the youngest in my neighborhood so i had no friends so I was hanging out with this guy (25) we used to go to video games shops and one day he invited me at his house and raped me and called all of his (friends 12 or more) and they told the whole town till this day no one takes me serious and people mock me
people who got raped didn’t considered as man or get jobs or marry…etc
20 years later I still think about it every night sometimes even its hard to breath I don’t sleep well most of the time every time some one talk about sex or manhood I have a panic attack, I can’t have relationship, every time I have sex I get emotional and tears come out and my life got worst when they kicked me out of the army because I tried to kill my self ..I just .. wish I born again even as an animal or tree just .. not that life.
I’m writing my story with tears and to all who been raped you’re not alone peace