Anonymous Story: Somebody That I Used to Know

Hey everyone, first of all I’m sorry for my terrible English but I can’t keep secrets anymore. I think anyone here understands how hard it is to keep a dark secret especially when it’s involved families. When I was a child, I was being molested by my friends brother and for a long time I forgot about it and it’s probably because my brain protecting me from a bad memory (I guess?). But not until recently, I keep thinking about it and it makes me angry and hoping something bad happen to him all the time.
Back to the story, I have a nephew how 2 years younger than me. He used to stay with my family and became close to me when we were young. When I was at high school, we met again and I often come to my aunts houses since we are close and he is. so excited to see me again after a long time. We are very close to each other that I sometimes forgot that he is already growing slowly into man? I swear to God I never think the other way when I was with him. I always think he is like my younger brother. One night my friend and I going to my aunts houses since we are staying at the school hostel all the time. That night was actually really nice. We playing a boardgame together and laughing so hard. I still have that memory of how happy we are. I really wish we always stay that way. But that night, thing changed. After done playing, we going to sleep together in one room (with my friend too). It’s probably my fault because i’m too comfortable with him or I dont know what his feelings towards me or it just completely because he is horny. I don’t know what happened and I just suddenly waking up and I can feel someone touching my private areas. I was so scare and numb. I can’t even do anything. I am frozen there and just let him touch every inch of my body. I have no idea how he even think about that. That morning, I waited for him to apologize or maybe just talk about it, but he never talk about it until today. From that day, we are not close anymore. I still think about him all the time. But everytime I go to my aunts houses, he keep taking advantage and sneaking to touch me at night. I am so stupid and angry at myself because I don’t say anything. I don’t know why. I just cant say anything about it. Our family are close and I just don’t want to ruin the family bond. And from that day, my feeling from him changed. It started from anger to love. But I know it’s not really love. I know I am being confused. That is why I want to talk about it to somebody. I really want to know what is happening to me. Because of him, I slowly remembered my other dark memories.
Please help me. What should I do now?