Anonymous Story: My Brother’s Best Friend

My brother’s best friend, “C”, babysat my little sister and I was younger without any supervision. My parents were in the house, but in another room. We were in my brother’s room playing the PlayStation. Every other turn my sister and I would switch and whoever wasn’t playing would have to lay on the bed next to “C”. This made a lot of sense to me back then. I was young, somewhere in between 3rd and 4th grade I believe.
The first time we did this he put his hand up my shirt and touched my boobs. I remember how cold his hand was and how weird it felt in my shirt like that. The next few times it escalated and he started putting his hand down my pants into my underwear. He stuck his fingers inside of me and kept massaging down there until I would get numb from the feeling. This was over months or weeks. I know it happened a lot. I never said anything because I didn’t understand what was happening.
I remember how badly it burned to pee after he would touch me. I would sit in the bathroom hoping to get away from him. I would beg my sister for more turns so that I didn’t have to lay next to him.
After a while I just stopped feeling everything and I started acting different.
That’s when I think my parents noticed something was wrong.
I told them on Christmas finally what he had been doing to me. He admitted it too.
I don’t think the hard part is accepting what he did or even forgiving him, it’s the results of what he did that are still affecting me. I’m an adult now and I’m married with kids. Still I can’t let my husband touch me there. I don’t like it, it makes me so uncomfortable and I can’t make it go away. I know it’s not my husband’s fault, I just sometimes wish I was normal…