Anonymous Story: My Brother, the Monster

I remember the day like it was yesterday…My parents were out to dinner and it was just nine year old me and my seventeen year old brother at home. I was in the bathtub when my brother walked in. He picked me up and pulled me out of the bath. I was so confused and had no idea what was happening. He dragged me, naked to his room and laid me on the bed. Spreading my legs apart he shoved down his pants and underwear and thrust his penis into me. All I remember is the confusion (i still had not learned of sex yet) and the pain. His huge penis ripped my vaginia and I began to bleed onto the bed. Ignoring the blood he kept shoving himself into me as i screamed and begged him to stop. After what felt like ages he pulled his pants up and pulled me off the bed. He told me he would kill me if I told anyone. Scared and injured I ran to my room and cried for hours. When my parents got home i was too scared to tell them what had happened so I pretended to be asleep. A few months later my older brother committed suicide. After he was gone I finally told the story of my rape. My parents were horrified. To this day, 23 years after my rape, I still have nightmares. I now have two beautiful daughters and a wonderful husband who I love with all my heart. My only hope is that i can protect my children from the pain I endured.