Anonymous Story: Me Too

Anonymous Story: Me Too

When the darkness is all that’s surrounding you, and you are too scared to go to sleep with the light off. I hold my pepper spray as if it will protect me from my thoughts. My mind is a mess and no one can save me from it. As if anyone is trying. I think the day can’t get worse but then the night comes.
I wonder what would have happened if I’d said no, or pushed him off me. Or said no to her, years ago. If I hadn’t been such a pushover, too afraid to be rude or anger anyone. Everyone wants to use you, they take what’s yours without asking if it’s ok, and I lie there and wait till it’s over.
It’s over.
The scars are there. I haven’t eaten normally in weeks. Every day I think of suicide and right now I don’t even know what I’m holding onto to stop me. Some people aren’t meant for this world. They give, and the world takes. The world took too much from me and I’m done. What left can the world take? You took my hope, my pride, my happiness. You left me vulnerable, alone and ashamed. If there is one thing left to do before I die, it’s to get back at you.

Author

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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