Anonymous Story: Blind Date Nightmare

Anonymous Story: Blind Date Nightmare

About 6 years ago I was working for a Hospital in the ER and was set up with a blind date with a paramedic named C. At first he was nice and seemed normal but then became very obsessive and would show up outside of my work in the parking lot when I had to come in for my shift to talk to me, or wait in the parking lot at the end of my shift to talk to me by my vehicle. He would show up at random places that I would go like to starbucks with my kids, my exercise place for bootcamp with me, or shopping. Pretty soon he was over all of the time and would let himself in. He would say things like, “I love you. I want to marry you. I want to be a father and role model to your kids.” But I was only with him for a week at that point and was freaked out looking for a nice way to end things. The entire relationship only lasted about a week and a half before I received a phone call from his ex in door county (A) asking if I was dating C because she had been dating him for 3 years and he had cheated on her multiple times. I swapped numbers with her, we both broke up with him, and I soon discovered that he sent us both flowers, was calling us both repeatedly, and randomly showing up to beg for forgiveness and to get back together. It soon escalated after that. He began calling the ER repeatedly to talk to me, he would go to the opposite end of the ER to talk to me even if his pt that he dropped off was on the other side, he stole my hide a key and would break into my house at night and lay in bed next to me, hold me down, cover my mouth, kiss me/assault me, he would bang on my door and scream “A I love you!”, he would look in my windows, or come in while I was out and leave cups or tshirts so I would know he was there. I was terrified and ashamed so I did not have a forensic exam because I was a SANE nurse and would have to go to my peers to ask for a SANE exam.

I asked him to stop and to leave me alone multiple times. However, it got to the point where my manager feared for my safety, had me make a safety plan with security to walk me to my car, have a tech hide me in a room when he would arrive with a patient, have a tech be with me at all times if he was in the department, screen his phone calls/not allow his phone calls, and my manager bought me a can of pepper spray.

I was on a date a few weeks later with my now husband and C sent me a text asking, “Why is Joel’s vehicle here? I’m gona kick his ass!” I told Joel at that point about what had happened with C and Joel encouraged me to call the police. I called the police and filled out a police report with Depere/Brown County and Outagamie county. The police talked to him and told him that if he does not stop then I would get a restraining order and press charges. I have a copy of these documents if needed.

About a year or 2 ago C’s ex wife J sought me out and asked if I would be a character witness for her as she was going through her divorce and the other ex’s were too scared to get involved. She had received my name from a mutual friend (Becky) and had heard about the things he had done to me. I agreed and shared my experiences and police report with her attorney. J (C’s ex wife) shared that he had almost run her off the road chasing her vehicle down after a fight with his vehicle. He threatened to kill her with her gun and her gun was missing. He broke down her bathroom door and grabbed her by her face/neck screaming at her and kissed her. He was charged with domestic violence and begged to have her drop charges if he promised to go to counseling. She did…

Shortly after that his newer girlfriend’s sister in law reached out to me to ask about C because she was worried for her sister in law’s life. She had reached out to J and myself because of looking him up on CCAP and guessing who we were on facebook and sending out messages. I did not get involved with their relationship but shared my personal experiences with this girl.

After that, my fiance’ at the time received a threatening message from C on facebook messenger saying if I didn’t shut my mouth that he would sue me for slander. We still have that message. But I have the police reports to prove my story.

Since then, C, had switched jobs to work at county rescue as a paramedic and had both brought patients and removed patients from the 6th ICU where I work. When he saw me he said, “A” I said “C” while giving me an intense look and glaring at me up and down.

I just recently found out about him being hired at another hospital in the Cath lab as a tech and was surprised to see him get in line for coffee with the cath lab team behind me. I was panicked and looking for a way to get out of there ASAP. He went for a job here despite knowing that I work here in the ICU’s.

I continue to have nightmares about him coming into my room at night to hold me down and assault me. It’s been terrifying.

Every time he works when I’m on duty he goes out of his way to terrorize me.

September 1st, 2019 I was working with S, JH, & SH in CVICU. S has to bring her pt down for a repeat CT scan & had taken a transport person & flight nurse with her. When she came back with her patient C was pushing the foot of the bed back into the unit with Sarah G, Flight, & transport. As they moved the bed down the hall Clocked eyes with me staring at me the entire way to bring the patient back to the room without looking where they were going. I told SH and JH “Oh no! That’s him. That’s the guy who assaulted me in 2014 that I have a restraining order on. Why is he here in the department when he knows I work here?” SH and JH said quick hide behind the wall of the nurses station. I did but kept my eyes out worried that he would approach me or try to hurt me. The whole time he walked off of the unit he stared at me as well. He didn’t have that patient nor was he involved in their care. He found an opportunity to come to the CVICU where he knew I worked regardless of restraining order and stared me down the whole time.

September 2nd, 2019-I was working with JH and had to drop off garbage and linen. I had to throw garbage and linen down the chute. I almost went by the cath lab because there are only two ways of getting to the garbage and linen through the cath lab doors or around the back hall. I saw C through the double doors and decided not to go through those doors. As I was backing up he saw me through the doors. I hurried around the back past B and through out my garbage and then my linen. As I was throwing my linen down the chute I turned around and there C was behind me staring at me with his hands on his hips. He then went to the bathroom after I noticed him. I was terrified and didn’t think that he would go all the way to the back where I was throwing stuff away when he was in lead doing something in the cath lab a moment prior.

September 16th, 2019, it was around 3:30pm and our cart was full of trays. I brought them down to the kitchen and on my way through CVICU I saw C. He turned around and glared at me as he made eye contact. I looked down and was just going to take the trays down to the kitchen but every turn I made he was going the same direction. I saw Dr N on her first day back from being off for surgery and said hi and gave her a hug. This not only made sure that C would keep moving and not bother me but it was nice to catch up and see how Dr N was doing and briefly discuss the neuro binder that I am working on. My heart was racing during that incident because of the threatening glare that C gave me.

Management haven’t done anything, Security hasn’t done anything, HR doesn’t believe he’ll do anything. This has been an on going living nightmare.

Author

WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

Related