Anonymous Story: Bamboo

I met him on Dec 2, 2016, when I had dinner with a group of friends. And we got to know each other and hang out on Dec 3 for lunch and board game with a group of friends. During the week between Dec 3-9, we texted each other every day and planed go to dinner on Dec 10, however when I drove 2 hours to be there, he told me he was too tired to go outside and he invited me to go his place to have dinner. I went to his place, he told me his roommate back to China. We had some food and watch a movie after that. I fall asleep during watch movie and waked by his touching. I said no, please stop and he doesn’t listen. I took of my cloth and raped me. I cried and told him to get a condom, so he stopped and went to the bedroom to get it. During that time, I put my cloth back on and trying to leave. He just back to stopped me and push me into his bedroom. In the bedroom, he took the picture of me naked.
I was trying to report to the police and him afraid of that. He apologized to me and said he loves me, he will take the responsibility. I am so frustrated and don’t know what to do. I am very traditional person so I afraid other person knows that will ruin my life. I forced myself to accept him and the ignore the thing of rape. He just a liar and trying to stop me to report him. I didn’t realize it and frustrated into this relationship. I was frustrated during that year and looked for help from sexual advocacy. They told me I should report that.
I reported to police on Feb 2017. On May 2017, he contacted me and said the policy found him, he was threat me he will do his best to against me if I don’t retrieve my report. And he said if I retrieve my report, he can be my friend to cure my hurt of feeling. He pretends he knows to make a mistake and asked me to forgive him. He told me his dad raped his mom before marriage; use the sad story ad excuse to get my compassion. I found a phycologist and she can’t help much, so I thought if he is trying to be nicer and realized he was wrong, I may try to forgive him and don’t let him went to jail. I thought I will not frustrate it anymore and make it over if he knows he was wrong and willing to heal my hurt. But I am wrong. He just wants to escape from the punishment which he deserved. I shouldn’t forgive him for his behavior. I feel I did a wrong thing to retrieve my report. I Just want to know anyone can help me with that. Is that possible to report him or sue him for what he did to me? I want to kill him but that will make me a bad person. I didn’t do anything wrong. He is a bad guy and did the bad thing against the law. I shouldn’t keep silence for that.