Anonymous Story: 6 hours of torture

Anonymous Story: 6 hours of torture

I don’t know how to start describing that dreadful day which changed me forever. The one thing I truly wish is that if God ever existed he shouldn’t let anything like this happen to anyone ever again.

This happened a year ago.I was returning to my hostel by a three wheeler public transport.Due to traffic jam the driver changed the route which I wasn’t really familiar with. That was my first mistake, not stopping the driver then and there thinking the other route did actually exist. 5 minutes into the drive, the roads started getting deserted and lonely. It was broad daylight so I thought I need not worry. The driver then stopped in front of a small shop and got down to have some water.I waited for him to return but he didn’t come out of the shop.I smelled something fishy and decided to walk away quickly.Before I could get down from the auto,2 men came out of the shop and rushed towards me.I struggled to get my pepper spray out and ready from my bag but one of them got in the rickshaw and held my hands together painfully while the other kept a piece of cloth on my mouth and held it there.I was blank for a moment and then when I realised what was happening I started struggling and kicking like crazy.All this happened so fast I failed to understand anything.I still don’t understand how there was nobody around in broad daylight to hear my faint screaming.Last thing I remember is losing consciousness.

Next I remember I wake up feeling something wet on my face.I open my eyes to see the same man who held my hands in the auto with his penis out of his jeans and rubbing it on my face.I backed up realising I was on a couch with my back towards a wall.My head was throbbing and I wanted to vomit.I pushed him away with both my hands and he just giggled ,a sick smile on his face.That face,his sick expression,still gives me nightmares,it scares me more than anything ever would.I look around to notice the 2nd man who held the cloth on my mouth,he was younger,maybe a college student like me,but he had a very heavy built.There was also a 3rd guy,also young ,again very buff and scary.The place looked something like a garage underground maybe.The 3rd guy came towards me and I tried to get up but he pushed me back on the couch.I hadn’t spoken till now.I then found the courage to speak and asked them what are you doing. He said to me “Cooperate and it will be easier for you”. Panic struck me,I had never imagined myself in such a situation, I didn’t know how to react. I stayed still, the 3rd person placed his hands on my shoulder and sat next to me.His grip was strong,I realised I can’t even fight off one of them. They were big and strong and 3 in number.I remember I started sobbing ,I was so scared ,my brain wasn’t working .I just wanted to get out.I wanted to talk them out.I sobbed and pleaded to please leave me, by this time I was so terrified I couldn’t even look them in the eye.He brought his hands down from my shoulder to my waist and shifted me with my back towards his chest.The 1st old guy who still had his penis out neared me and I started struggling to get free of the hold on my body.He shifted his hands upwards towards my breast and pressed hard. I yelled and immediately the 1 St guy held his penis near my mouth and held my mouth wide open.His grip was so tight,I tried to remove his hands but no use. While the 3 Rd guy held me in place, the 1st one stood between my knees spread wide, with his penis in my mouth and pushing it in and out of my mouth.I wanted to vomit, I wanted to use my hands to get free of his hold,i wanted to kick but my legs were spread wide. I remember vomiting on his hands as soon as he pulled out. The 2nd guy came and slapped me very hard. I remember being kicked and falling to the floor.He said that I will have a lot more fun today and used slangs to refer me.
This was just the beginning, the real torture was yet to begin. As I write this, I get the same disgusting feelings, the urge to vomit, desperation to get out , escape ,a feeling a pray for someone anyone to come to my help,a wish for all of this to be a nightmare which it actually is, each and every day after that day, reminding me constantly of how used and damaged I am. When I next regained consciousness,I was on a chair, with red ropes used to tie my hands at the back together, my legs tied apart to give a full view of my genitals and my jeans and underwear taken of.I wiggled ,struggled so bad ,the ropes were so tight they hurt.I tried to scream when I realised there was a big piece of cloth inside my mouth which I triwd to push out with my tongue but couldn’t.In front of me ,my captors were standing with such disgusting expression on their face.My head hurt so bad I thought I will pass out anytime. Then began my torture. They inserted various things into my vagina including lighted cigarettes, pen, cucumber , a stick, keys,scale and bottle caps.They took turns inserting their fingers and hands. It just hurt so much I can’t describe the feeling. I was crying, trying to scream, trying to get out of the ropes, trying to plead them to stop. I felt blood dripping down from my vagina. The 1st guy took out the cloth off my mouth and before I could scream he insrted his penis into my mouth. They took turns, one fucking my mouth, another torturing my genitals , all while I cried endlessly pleading with my eyes. I was slapped when I tried to speak between their turns. They pinched my breasts .I still have my body covered with so many marks, the burning marks on my skin.The torture seemed to last forever.i wished I would die,anything that could take away the pain,that disgusting feeling.I tried closing my eyes to stop the pain but received a slap instead.I don’t remember when I passed out .I woke up in the same auto,it was night and I was fully dressed.I still don’t know what courage I had to get back to my room.i felt nothing,no more pain,it was so empty like I couldn’t feel my body.At the same time there was so much pain,it hurt so much.
I haven’t told my story except 1 person,who told me it wasn’t rape as none of them penetrated my vagina with their penis,they only rubbed their penis all over my body.I don’t know what it was or why it happened to me I just want to forget it all somehow.



When You're is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.



No Comments Yet!

You can be first to comment this post!

Post Reply

Warning: Illegal string offset 'rules' in /home/customer/www/ on line 222