Anonymous Story

The summer I turned 16 I went away with a friend for a couple weeks. We had gone to the beach for the day and were having a good time. Sometime mid afternoon a couple of guys approached us, friend Todd and Tanner. My friend wanted to walk with them down the beach so we did. We got a ways down the beach when my friend went off with Tanner. I sat down on the beach with Todd, he was probably twice my age and more than twice my size. He appeared to be a body builder, very muscular and you could tell he spent most of his time lifting weights. He leaned over and tried to kiss me but I was not interested and moved away. Next thing I knew he had me pinned down. Didn’t even take off my bikini bottoms, just pushed them over. I felt like I was suffocating, I couldn’t even yell. When it was over he pulled his shorts back up and offered a hand to help me up. At first I wanted to write it off as awkward sex, I was 15 and while I was not a virgin at that point was still pretty inexperienced. By the time I got home I was in complete denial, although I knew awkward sex doesn’t make you want to throw up and put your bikini in the trash. I didn’t tell anyone. Until I found out I was pregnant, I still never told anyone what happened. My brothers paid for an abortion and drove me. It took 20 years before I admitted to myself what had really happened. Even though his face would wake me up from a sound sleep and I still think about it all the time. Now 30 years later I have finally said it out loud,