Annabella’s Story :Childhood Trama

I was born on September 26 2001, my first 3 years of life were the good ones even tho I can’t remember. It started when I was three I had someone who worked I’m my day care that someone was touching me. Cops were called and my dad was blamed for the touching but that was what my mom had said to the police that was a lie. My mother had a boyfriend and it was him who touched me but it was never proven cause it was said that I was confused.
My dad got custody of me and my brothers he died a year later. My mom who was found unfit was given full custody. That was the biggest mistake, my grandmother had told my dad to write in his will that the children would go to their grandmother he didn’t listen and she nore the rest of my dad’s side was us again for a very long time.through the years to come I was sexually abused by three people my two brothers and I mothers boyfriend. I never said anything for years in the beginning I thought it was normal so I let it happen it wasn’t for many years that I realized it was wrong I still said nothing my mother hated me already she said I was the reason her and my dad split up. She told us she never wanted us and that no one have her a choice such lies considering my grandmother tried taking her to court for custody but she never showec . My mother got death benefits checks so to her it was all about the money more for her drinks and smokes. My mother did not work we were poor sometimes we had no power, or lived in roach invested houses with no food and smelled of cat pee. I could have been ok but on top of that my mom physically and verbally abused me I was nothing to her I had nobody. I grew up constantly being told I was fat ugly and every other name in the book. From as early as I could remember I hated myself I took everything that was ever said to me and formed a person I felt like nothing. In school I had trouble making friends nobody likes me I was mean I focused my anger and sadness and created something cold. Those who were my friends I hurt I tried to make them feel as I did I regret that it wasn’t there fault but somehow I wanted to feel in control. I soon changed as I got older I held on to my friends like they were all I had they were all I had I became unable to say no so those who pretended to be my friends could always felt on me. School continued to be bad rumors were spread and few people actually liked me. At home things stayed the same until the sexual abuse stopped and I found out control in the wrong way. I started to cut myself it felt amazing to go crazy I could not stop it was my pain and hurt that built up in my mind and it was now there in a way I could explain without a word I found a false happiness in the sight of red. My mom soon found out she said it I ever did it again that she would kill me little did she know that it was what I wanted…
Finally things changed I started talking to my grandmother and other family members and they gave me hope. At the age of 13 I placed myself in foster care I was free from the so called family of mine but not from myself.I struggled a lot to stay in a home everyone loved me but I pushed everyone away the number of foster family’s grew as the number of hospitalization did I found a feeling of love being taken care of in hospitals I went back several times it was a way to avoid my problems. I soon made it to a rtf and was helped by someone amazing I got better just enough to leave back to a home it took a few more true and hospitals but now I’m ok I try not to hurt myself I do well in school and I wanna be a social worker but I have a long journey ahead of me and I’m scared but I going for it and I would change a thing everything happened for a reason

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WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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