Alana’s Story: Raped by Stepdad

At birth my parents gave me up for adoption and kept my twin. I was adopted by a very nice woman who I loved alot along with my stepsister. I also had a stepdad. One knight I came home from school and he had beaten up my stepmother so she left with my sister. He was so angry he smashed my head against the wall and after that he started taking of my clothes I tried to stop him but he just slapped me and he made me do horrible things it ruined my opinion about sex and men. 3 years later I finaly got the courage to call the police since he threatened to kill me if I did every time that he would rape me. They came and took him away. I got sent to a home for three years until I turned 18. I have been on my own without family ever since. I just cannot trust men. I try so hard I try to go out on dates but I just can’t every time I look at them I remember all the horrible things he did to me sometimes I just sit there and cry. All my friends started ignoring me because he round never let me go see them. I lost everyone and u had no one in the world who cared about me. When I went to school with black eyes I would say that I got into a fight so they wouldn’t question me and I got a bad reputation from that. Its just really hard and I can’t belive I’m actually writing about it. Every time after it happened I would feel ashamed I hated myself for what I was forced to so and could never look at myself the same way. I lost all my innocence. Now I’m 20 and living alone having a awful job as a waitress and barley being able to pay rent.