A Lesbian’s Story: i let it happen

We met on a lesbian dating app. Its rare to find a conversation that can cary on with ease on these things. Only a week in, she invites me over after work for a bottle of wine, an impulse decision she called it ( sounded like a good way to cover up embarrassment of egar meetings )

A bottle of wine was shared, I already knew there was no real connection within that time.
she lent over and kissed me.
i allowed it.
she told me to come inside.
i allowed it.
she started to undress me. i stopped her. “im not comfortable with this”
she stopped for a a few seconds to ask why, i had said sleeping with someone i just met isnt really my thing. she laughed, and said just relax, holding my hands above my head.
I let it happen.
I was not relaxed, nor did i suddenly feel comfortable.
I let it happen.

A week or two later, i fell into her trap of kind words, knowing this I resisted seeing her again, thats when manipulation came in to play. She had told me of her addiction, she had told me about the way she acts impulsively just to mess things up, she had told me about her borderline personality disorder, she had told me how much of an importance i have become to her in such a short time.

I saw her again, feeling like i was over thinking everything.
This time, drinking to blackout state.
i let it happen.
“i need to tell you something” she mumbled.
“im sorry” “hpv”
i let it happen

Although I hadnt caught the std, i had let myself get into that situation. the situation that wrecked me emotionally. the situation that could have changed my status. the situation that i never wanted to be in.