Anonymous Story: Only 7 Years Old

i was only 7 years old when my stepbrother raped me, but this wasn’t the only time. Tomorrow is the anniversary of it (March 5). Im already crying and wish I would have just died. I try to be the strong funny girl but i’m broken. I feel like anything I do I can’t get that day out of my head. The day it happened I was beat with a belt by my stepmom because I didn’t finish my food, My dad spanked me than me and him were watching a movie in “my room” (I didn’t have a real room) and he raped me. He pulled my pants down and stuck it in me, i tried to tell him to stop and he put his hand over his mouth, I froze. I think it’s my fault sometimes like, when didn’t you scream louder or bite him. It’s been 8 years and I can remember every detail down to how his hair looked. He molested me until the got a divorce. My mom doesn’t know only my close friend. I don’t trust anyone and people just think i’m crazy. Maybe I am but I just want someone to tell me, i’m not alone.