http://wp.me/p7LcIw-bC http://wp.me/p7LcIw-bC This morning I had one of ‘those’ starts…. I slept through my alarm at 5:13am due to a restless night and bad dreams, no fun. This always feels like an earthquake drill. I hate being late and it’s
Summer 2006, I was around 9 years old ,me and my family were all in vacation at our lake house in one of my parents country. We were having a great time, I was having a great time until one
I was 17 and was dumped twice so I was taking a break from finding my soulmate. I was really happy being single and just wanted to catch up on me. But after a while, I felt lonely. All of
For years this went on. I blamed myself "I must of done something to show him I was interested" "maybe I should of stayed st home that night none of this would of happened" ofcourse I got worse and worse as the years went on.
When you touched me without approval, I fragmented
I can still feel your hand around my wrists
Your heat upon my neck
The vile smell of your breath ruminates
It happens so quick and yet too slowly. You'll ask "is this real?" as fast as you can take a punch to the gut. You'll remember it so many times that you'd swear your limbic system was a skipping needle. You might even vomit after your very first attempt to verbalize it. Maybe you'll look at your arms and legs and lay blame on them for betraying you with stillness. It happens.
they hurt me in so many ways, mentally, physcially they beat me told me to shut up blahblah blah,
After some hours of sleep I woke up. Pictures in my head. I tried to convince myself it wasn't real, that wasn't me who experienced that. I was there, but I was just watching. Watching my body get raped, but my soul already died.
It’s 3:51 am, I have my first interview for a position in my field after graduation at 11:30 am. I should be fast asleep, not staring at my ceiling as if it were an empty void. Sleep sounds wonderful in
He looked scary, didn't know what he was doing, drunk, high and on cocaine, I'd never experienced what a drug like that would to your body, I'd never seen it. His were rolling, he could barely stand his words weren't making any sense. I told him to go back downstairs but he closed his bedroom door and locked it from the inside.
Whether you decided to not come forward about your assault, did come forward but not heard or lost your case, or even won your case, we can all agree that one of our biggest fears when processing our assaults is
I got this feeling in my shoulder and I knew I needed to leave so I said no and told him I needed to get home now , he was like who you with and I made up a lie and told him him I was with my auntie.
I would question myself and wonder why he would want to rape an ugly fat girl like me. I was bullied at my school for being overweight and Muslim. I was scared that no one would believe or care if I told them or that they'd separate me from my family and talk shit about my religion or assume everyone in my religion does that.
he wants to meet up, & my mum doesnt know any of it, nobody does, so she said I can, & told him I would, & I know hes gonna do it again, & Im just fucking scared to death…
I have nightmares of you trying to rape me again. I have nightmares of locked bathrooms and bedrooms, of not being able to escape from your grasp. I am 22 years old now and still live with fear and anger.
His low voice came back into my ear, “I know that you want this. Just relax. Nothing will hurt if you relax.” My mind told my body to go numb as I thought to myself, don’t be stupid, of course you don’t want to be in pain.
That was a lie. As soon as I felt the pain, something in my brain reconnected and I pushed away as hard as I could which was difficult seeing as he’s 200 pounds of muscle.
For my first blog post with WYR, I wanted to tell a quick story about my college experience that I hope will encourage all of you to speak up when you can and to never allow yourself to be silenced.
We are happy to have Katie on our team and part of our community, and look forward to her blog posts. This survivor has a lot to say, and a strong voice.
You have made me feel like nobody likes me. Like I am worthless, like everyone who knows what happened suddenly wants nothing to do with me. While this may not be true, you have turned me into someone who cant appreciate kindness. If someone is nice, I feel like its out of pitty, and when someone isn’t, I feel like they are judging me for what happened.
A deacon in the church received 3 years probation after raping and molesting a child from 2010-2017 because of lack of evidence. The same deacon had rape before but it was never reported to the police.
I went to sleep without crying. The next night, I couldn't keep it hidden anymore. I told my parents. They believed me, until they started getting the story from me. My aunt and uncle got involved. Soon, I had four very angry adults staring down at me, believing I'd made up the rape allegation for some drama. They told me it wasn't rape because it wasn't prosecutable.
But there was a different feeling rising in me that quickly numbed out all others. It was fear. Absolute terror came over me. I realized that this man has absolute control over my body at this point. There are no words that can stop him.