Now I had new nightmares; it wasn’t just him touching me, him hitting, punching, kicking, whipping, wasn’t just him putting things inside me, tying me so I wouldn’t move. There were others. And he would tell them where to hit me, when and where to touch me, what to put inside me.
She found me in my unclothed, paralyzed state and pulled me to ‘safety’ in a muddled manner. No questions asked we just left the party. The next day I reflected on that night and saw it as a personal failure.
…it has always felt like all the things that happened to me started with that security guard and that moment destroyed my whole life.
You knew what you were doing while you were doing it to me. Nobody rapes on accident. I am sending you this message so I can put the pain and shame I have been carrying where it belongs, with you. If I have to live the rest of my life as a victim of rape, you should have to live the rest of your life knowing you raped me.
I was raped 8 months ago by a coworker. I had just turned 19, was going to college, and was working at the customer service desk inside a grocery store. The guy worked in the deli at the grocery store
I couldn't feel anything in that moment. I just moved because he moved against me. I don't remember pain. Or how long it went for.
She asked me "who was that?". I said " a very bad guy, he made me do things." She said "what did he make you do?". I just said "everything."
I think I've been raped. I go back in my room and laugh about my sexual escapades with my roommates, not telling them what I really think happened.
I woke up in the morning sore and covered in scrapes. My friends were all discussing the night before and my best friend said she couldn’t find me for like an hour and then she saw me coming out of the forest wearing pants that were way too big on me. She said I couldn’t even speak properly and I had stripes of blood on my cheeks. She immediately took me to take a morning after pill.
Then he was done.He told me I couldn’t tell anybody about this and I said I wouldn’t.I wasn’t very smiley anymore.I tried to fit in as much as I could and act normal.But let me tell you it was hard and it is hard to keep things like that a secret.
Where do I begin my story is so horrendous. Lets start from the beginning my mums bf moved in when I was about 7. He was doing everything he shouldn't have been doing to a 7 year old girl. He done anything and everything apart from intercourse. Also made me do things to him. Everytime he left my bedroom I would cut myself hoping I would die.
He said “what’s wrong, are you okay?” I was silent, I simply said I want to go home. By this time it was 3:30 am. He wasn’t going to let me leave; I told him my mom was outside. I lied.
She told me I looked sexy and said she never thought abs on young boy would turn her on like I did. She reached down and fondled my penis. She then took my hand and led me to her bedroom.
I told him I didn't want to and didn't feel comfortable and he forced me down and held my head so that I couldn't get up. He told me he has needs and it was my job as a girlfriend to fulfill them. He told me he loved me and was going to marry me and I was so blind and naive that I believed him.
All I knew was it was all unsafe. My bedroom locked from inside was my place. Hours of begging and pleading it took, to open the door (I’d have broken it down) A chicken pot pie, won entry eventually, and a lifetime of comfort food was born.
I’ve known this man since age six, he’s my step-uncle. Growing up he’d always “joke” about how we’d end up married, everyone would laugh and call him crazy so I just assumed he was playing, but the older I got
Because he loved me he wouldn’t let me go when I pulled away because he knew I’d like it.
Because he loved me he told me he was my only source of happiness so I would stay.
He started backing me up against the wall.I new what he was doing.He was not just playing a game.He started tugging at my shirt.I kept shouting no and kept pushing him away.Then he threw me the ground and started undressing me.I kept telling him no and kept smacking him.
My whole act flew out of the window and I was struggling to cope, until I decided to start a blog, sharing my story and all its details with the world. This way I've been able to speak out about myself, without those judging eyes, without the questions. And it's made me feel better. Finally I'm starting to feel like I can be a person again.
Still she ran and still she lived
Her body screaming out the pain
Now she can no longer give
Wonders if she’ll smile again
You knew what you were doing, you said it yourself that I didn't want you. Never you. But I said nothing. I didn't scream, I didn't run, it wasn't rape. The way you looked at me made me squirm.
We sat in the car with his family. I was in the backseat with him and his cousin. “Can I touch you?” He asked. I rejected and told him I was tired and to not bother me. I was also aware that we were in the car and it wouldn’t be a good idea at all.
I told him once that I was upset because we went farther than I had wanted and that he went to fast for me to be able to communicate my needs.
I don't know how to explain very well but I just feel like I wasn't me. I don't have any clear memories from that time. I ran away a week after that. I ran with a boy I went to a alternative school with almost 2 hours away. His mom & stepdad smoked k2 with us.
You see, this evening should have been simple, however, it was nothing of the sorts. It turned out to be a horror story and an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Fast forward to me on the ground…him taking my clothes off…me expressing how he could. Not. Go. Inside. Of. Me. Him stating that he didn’t think he would get another chance after that night. Me saying no. Him holding my arms down. Me saying stop. Him telling me that I was almost 30 and I should have done this by now. Me…disappearing. Him not finishing and getting off of me. Him asking me to finish him off. Me sitting on the ground in the corner trying to figure out how to leave. Me asking him to walk me to my car. Me…driving home, wondering what happened.
Thats when he pulled out the gun. He put it up against my head and told me that if i didnt stop fighting him then he would pull the trigger. And I believed him so i stopped.. I stopped fighting and at that moment my life had changed forever. I felt empty.. numb.. after he was finished with me her threw me back into my room on the bed. I laid there naked and exposed. I was 9.. nine years old. Couldn't cry.. couldn't be mad. I didnt know what to feel. I couldnt feel.
To this day, I resent being born into my family. I still see my sister from time to time, and looking at her still scares me. It hurts knowing I don't love my family. I look at my mother and hate her. It hurts knowing she could have helped me, and chose not to.
slipped and fell to the ground. He raped me. The next morning I asked and he teased me. He tormented for years with name calling and abusive behavior.
Eventually he asked for sex. I said no. He kept trying to convince me. I said no. He gave up and went back to kissing. Later i got ready to go to bed and put on a pair of shorts. He kept touching my ass and fooling around but I kept saying no sex. I felt a sharp pain inside me and i cried out. He had forced himself inside me.
hate boys mens all together. I stay as far as aways as i can from people. But through all of that I'm still standing here and telling my story. I'm just gonna try to move on with life.
Thank you for reading my story.
We talked a while. There was a plan for me to go home. Then he started kissing me. I was so uninformed and inexperienced, I didn't actually know what happened during sex. I was stunned into submission.
The doctor came and checked me she did not find any bruises so they thought i was lying … In that depression, in that fear, in that lost hope i cried and said i wanted to die was my biggest mistake….. They admitted me in a psychiatric ward… None of the doctors believed me, none of the police believe me, not even my family did.
I have had a memory recently that i had never had before, so I'm not sure how real or accurate it is. I can see someone on top on me, with them holding my mouth shut & they are having intercourse with me. The person doing this is just a blur, I can't see any details about them, but i can tell where I am & it seems too real to me to be fabricated by my own mind. I am just struggling with the fact of is this true & accurate & has my mind just buried it deep down, or am I crazy & imagining it.
When did he decide he was going to do it? When he saw me trying to get into the house? Was it a quick decision that he was going to take advantage of this situation that had presented itself? Has he done it again to other girls and women? I've tried looking him up on FB, just so I could see his face. I couldn't find him. I was curious for some reason if he had gotten married, had children. Was he still partying, abusing others? I needed to see a picture of my abuser. I needed to see a picture of the man that stole my innocence, that deprived me of something I had cherished.
I felt I had no choice but to let him, because I felt if I said no, I wouldn't have been living. He always threatened that he'd tell others if I didn't obey.
I felt really bad about it and I blamed myself for it, I mean I did nothing about it.. ever since I don’t trust guys anymore. I don’t feel comfortable with my body anymore and I have serious trust issues.
I remember the man supporting my weight as we walked down the street and him asking me my age, I clearly remember telling him I was 16. This is important because the legal age of homosexual sex wasn’t lowered to 16 until 2001, and this was 1997 so even if I had consented to what was about to happen (which i didn’t) by the laws of the time it was rape.
I made it clear we were not romantic – but still we had sex. I said no, I said no, I said no; but still we had sex.
I just lied on the stairs, shaking and silent. James hugged me tightly and the other two went to tell the chief. A few weeks later, nothing wound up happening and he left on a plane to his next duty station.
I love my husband but I can finally admit that I agreed to get married so I could change my last name and have a baby so I could be discharged from the military so he couldn't find me.