Anonymous Story: It Was My Ex-husband

Anonymous Story: It Was My Ex-husband

My story. 14 months later.
I think every rape victim at some point tells themselves "maybe I asked for this", "maybe I did deserve this", "I could've fought harder", "did I lead him on?"
Well, I do at least…

Dez V’s Story: I was assaulted by my best friend…

Dez V’s Story: I was assaulted by my best friend…

I took a shower, wanting to get rid of the evidence of the day. I knew I should call the police, but after going through filing charges as a kid against an adult who molested me, I knew what the process was like and I didn't want to go through it again.

Anonymous’ Story: Reminders of an Untold Story

Anonymous’ Story: Reminders of an Untold Story

I caught a whiff of cigarette breath and a flash of a memory from what seems like ages ago. It’s gotten to a point where I accept it. As soon as I think it’s finally gone I hear a familiar

16 Year Old Sailor’s Story: Regatta Rape

16 Year Old Sailor’s Story: Regatta Rape

He finally lifted his body from mine to put on a condom, I then knew exactly what was about to happen, I was a virgin and did not want this to be my first time. I drunkly attempted to take the condom from him but that got him mad, so I finally started to leave, looking for my shirt or just something to leave in. Thats when we threw me across the bed, the final blow to my head on the low roof.

Kara G’s Story: Taking my Power Back

Kara G’s Story: Taking my Power Back

Here I am at 2 in the morning struggling to find rest. Tears escaping my eyes and making their way down my cheeks. All the while I am thinking I bet he is sleeping soundly like a child. This irritates me to no end. I decide to get up and write this because I cant think of any other way to get this pain and feeling of violation out of my head and entire being.

Fee’s Story: He Was My Best Friend for Years

Fee’s Story: He Was My Best Friend for Years

You have to fight to find yourself again, or you get pulled under by the grief, the fear, the guilt and all the rest of it. You have to find some kind of silver lining, however small, and pull yourself back up. As long as you pick yourself back up each time it overwhelms you, you are winning. It's ok to be overwhelmed sometimes, to need help; just keep getting back up!

An Oregon High School Student’s Story

An Oregon High School Student’s Story

The only thing colder than the temperature outside was the look in his eyes as he saw through who I was into what I was going to be for him. I knew what he had planned when our path skewed away from the gate to the tables. I tried to tell him I needed to go home and that it was too cold "maybe another time". Without a word I was bent over, facing away from him. With a fist full of my hair in one hand he brought his other down on me as if I had committed a crime worth being punished for.

A broken trans university student’s story: He thinks it was consensual and I can’t confront him

A broken trans university student’s story: He thinks it was consensual and I can’t confront him

Even as I'm typing this, I'm terrified that I'm lying, that what happened was consensual. Because I fucking said yes. But you know what? Yes doesn't always mean yes. A mentally unstable, near-suicidal, Autistic sixteen year old girl cannot consent to sex with a mentally stable nineteen year old boy. Hell, that girl can't consent to sex with anyone. But it wasn't her fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault.

A 17 year old high school student’s story: September 1997

A 17 year old high school student’s story: September 1997

September 1997 “Man, she’s through!” “I can’t get my d*ck in her for sh*t!” “We doing this jungle style!” “I don’t need my d*ck sucked tonight.” “Hold her leg!” Dialogue of the rapists – I was extremely intoxicated with some

Amber Lee’s Story: He Anally Raped Me

Amber Lee’s Story: He Anally Raped Me

He was my boyfriend. We had a lot of sex—but usually at his parents’ because mine forbade us to in their house. I’d invited him over and since we weren’t allowed in my bedroom, we decided to watch a movie

Courtney B’s Story: While I Was Sleeping

Courtney B’s Story: While I Was Sleeping

But when it actually happened… I froze. I was afraid to move. I wish so badly that I could go back in time and tell that guy to get the hell out of my room. Why didn't l do something? I hate myself for it still.

TR’s Story: The dirty truth: I was raped continuously for over a year by my own boyfriend.

TR’s Story: The dirty truth: I was raped continuously for over a year by my own boyfriend.

So he would say again, “Nobody wants you. You don’t have friends. You don’t need friends, only me.” And it would start over and over again. Being locked all day in a dark room, naked, forced to have sex until my skin was raw, until I was bleeding and hurting, until there was only a fine line between pleasure and pain so that I could tell myself, “It’s not so bad.”

Catherine H.’s Story: My Date Ended in Rape

Catherine H.’s Story: My Date Ended in Rape

I was blamed by people who told me that if you get naked with a guy you should expect them to have sex you. I was also told that as I liked him and I dated him although he forced himself on me it didn't count as rape.

Kate’s Story: I’m Tired of Not Speaking Up

Kate’s Story: I’m Tired of Not Speaking Up

Telling anyone is sometimes the hardest thing imaginable. Let alone going through with the process to seek this person out and doing something about it.

19 Year Old College Student’s Story: I Asked for It

19 Year Old College Student’s Story: I Asked for It

Next morning he bought us all croissants and took us all for breakfast, he paid for mine and then he walked me to my train to go home. His only words were "Last night was fun huh?" I say "Um… You did me… Without protection…" I kinda giggled a bit, nervously and he replied with "Yeah but whatever, no biggie. Plus, you were the one wiggling your butt and asking for it, dirty little girl!" after a wink… I got on my train, got home, told my mother what happened and she said "Well, you know what you were going to London for!"

Angela’s Story: Here I Am

Angela’s Story: Here I Am

I was closest to my Grandmother. We didn’t talk much, but I never felt the need to always talk with her. I was comfortable with her, and thinking back now I think she was the only person I was truly comfortable with. I trusted her. It was my Grandmother who realized something else was going on. I was pregnant. I may, or may not have fallen down the stairs, but one thing is for sure. I was raped. We didn’t discuss it.

22 Year Old Student’s Story: Was It Rape?

22 Year Old Student’s Story: Was It Rape?

I keep blaming myself because I think I asked for it.. Asked for it with my clothes.. Asked for it by drinking too much.. Asked for it by going to his room..

Anna’s Story: I Didn’t Think Twice

Anna’s Story: I Didn’t Think Twice

I may have been intoxicated but I KNEW this was not what I wanted.
I asked him to stop, and unlike so many other stories, he actually did.
Because of this, I never considered it rape.
I still don't even know what to call it.
But I know it wasn't right.
I know it wasn't consensual and I know he took advantage of me.

Heather’s Story: March 1 (19, College Freshman)

Heather’s Story: March 1 (19, College Freshman)

I woke up naked, confused, and with a blaring headache. Next to me is this guy, naked as well. I check my phone, it's 5 a.m. I get up and leave. I call a friend, because I'm alone and scared. He said, "you know how you get when you drink. I doubt it was for

Anonymous Story: S&M (Sexism & Manipulation)

Anonymous Story: S&M (Sexism & Manipulation)

The commonalities I have with the other brave women who have come forward are what made me realize how wrong it all was. Reading the stories was like having my mind read. I sunk deeper with feelings of guilt and disgust. I was part of an intricate web woven by a man who was manipulative and powerful. I fell for every carefully constructed, tried and true line he fed me. He played his game with me as he played it with so many women before me. I was another woman to add to his collection.

JKL’s Story: Naive and Hormonal

JKL’s Story: Naive and Hormonal

I still find it hard to not think it was my fault, to not think I was leading him on, to not think I was stupid to be there alone and perhaps I was but a normal person would not have date raped me…..they may have taken advantage in a "normal" fashion but I would have been coherent and able to fight it off, call for help, run away…whatever.

K.Y.’s Story: Twice, never reported.

K.Y.’s Story: Twice, never reported.

The next day I left to my own city and got a rape kit done. The clinician there informed me that because alcohol was involved " it would be more harm than good to report this to the police." " You'll just end up spending a year or more in court reliving the experience, and you likely won't get anything from it"

Anonymous Story: Scared Little Girl in the Basement

Anonymous Story: Scared Little Girl in the Basement

Turning off the lights and putting on the movie Speed, she retreated to the living room where she completely forgot about us. How the event came about is a mystery to me, but the four boys eventually ran out of things to occupy them and decided to experiment with me. Some older and some younger than me, they pinned me down, removed their and my underwear and simulated a gang rape.

A source of strength’s Story: When Does the Healing Begin?

A source of strength’s Story: When Does the Healing Begin?

I got a text from him saying he was outside my apartment and wanted to say goodbye. I let him into my apartment. I lived in a small studio apartment so we were sitting on my bed chatting. Then he kissed me and pushed me down. He got on top of me and held my hands above my head. He pinned me down and with his other hand took off my underwear. I was begging him to stop and was yelling no but my cries went unheard. I was finally able to kick and push him off of me.

Dawn’s Story: Knowing No Childhood

Dawn’s Story: Knowing No Childhood

Life went on as normal, everyone pretended that everything was fine and that nothing had happened. No one but a few close friends that I had finally confided in knew what had happened. But that kind of secret, festers and boils below the surface until one day the cracks start to appear.

A. DuPont’s Story: He was in a boy band

A. DuPont’s Story: He was in a boy band

After a little bit of time has passed, his friends pin you down as they lift up your shirt, lift up your bra. They draw a “smiley” face on your breasts and stomach. Your nipples are circled— the eyes, your bellybutton— the nose. And just above your pubic hair—the smile. You wiggle and scream, but they are bigger and stronger than you, not to mention they outnumber you five to one. You cry and they laugh. You feel both embarrassed and ashamed.

Anonymous A’s Story: I didn’t know it was rape

Anonymous A’s Story: I didn’t know it was rape

I still get nervous if sex isn't on my terms or if I'm at all unsure about it. I sometimes don't go to parties if I'm not certain that I can leave when I want to. I've had more supportive therapists, but I'm still not over it, and it's been almost three or four years. I feel like I don't deserve to call myself a rape victim because I didn't say no. My rapist doesn't consider himself a rapist. I don't like telling the story because I'm always afraid someone will say, "That's not rape. You just made a stupid decision." I've since realized that I've done this before; the second time I had sex, no one asked my permission. The guy just stuck his penis in me without even asking if I wanted to use a condom. I was inexperienced. I just went along with it. I thought maybe that was how people who'd had a lot of sex had sex. And now that I know it wasn't okay and that it wasn't consensual, I feel so stupid and unsure about almost every subsequent sexual decision I've ever made.

Ellie’s Story: I am a survivor, not a victim

Ellie’s Story: I am a survivor, not a victim

Having a “friend” turn into an aggressive monster forcing you to do incredibly intimate things while you beg him not to is terrifying. When I woke up, I noticed the clothes I had been wearing were on the floor and I burst into tears because I knew that I didn’t wake up from a nightmare I could forget, instead I woke up to a horrible reality.

Anonymous Story: I think it may have been the same guy.

Anonymous Story: I think it may have been the same guy.

I had a similar experience before leaving [that town] and think it may have been the same guy. I was called all sorts of horrible names over the next days, weeks, and beyond because he bragged to the rest of the guys and even his female friends about it.

My Story: He was given ‘permission’ to rape me

My Story: He was given ‘permission’ to rape me

I'm less afraid of talking about these ones than the first one. I have no idea what became of either of those guys, and I don't care. I've lost touch with all of the "friends" we had in common back then, the ones who knew and didn't stop it, the boyfriend who gave permission for his friend to rape me…it's a part of my life I've put past me.

My Story: The summer I became a slut

My Story: The summer I became a slut

The first time I was raped I was 16 years old. The night exists in a series of flash-bulb images that I can neither piece together nor erase from my memory, despite years of trying. I’m still not sure if it was my fault, even though I know it wasn’t.

I don’t think about it very often anymore, but every few years I revisit the spiral of shame, and guilt.