It was just like any normal day in my life. I finished school and rushed home with my ‘bestfriend’ to get changed out of our school uniform to go and meet our friends. At this point in my life at the age of 13 I was so confident, I had what I thourght were great friends that I felt would do anything for me. Or so I thought!
I know I shouldnt have been drinking at that age but we all make mistakes right? Plus I felt safe around these people, they was my friends. Anyway I had to much to drink, I phoned my mum and asked if I could stay at my mates house, she said yes. Neither of us knew what that simple yes would lead to. Because I had drunk to much I decided to go and lay down upstairs. My bestfriend decided to go the same. She went into one room, I went into another. I had just started to dose off when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I knew the toilet was upstairs so never really took much notice, until the bedroom door opened. Being the believer in people I am, I thourght maybe someone has come to check on me. But no, the group of people that came into my room had other ideas. So on the 6th October 2009 at 2:50AM I was raped, by my bestfriends boyfriend and his bestfriend. All I remember from the time that it was happening was the looking at the moon. I dont know why. I just tried to imagining being anywhere at the moment other then being in that room. After a while a gave up fighting and just layed there willing it to be over. After it was all over, I realised that it wasn’t just the three of us in the room. In fact all my so called friends had stood and watched the whole thing and not one of them decided to stop what they was seeing even though I was fighting and saying no. I eventually reported it to the poilce but not until the end of November. This meaning all evidence was lost and became my word against theres.
That day ruined my life. For 2 years I never left my house due to being scared. I dropped out of school. In the end my mum and dad decided to move. It literally turned my life upside down. I started cutting my wrists and even attempted to take my own life as i just felt I could not cope anymore.
Here I am today, 8 years down the line. If I can give advise to anyone who has been through this it would be, you may not see a light at the end of the tunnel but no matter how long a tunnel is, it has to end at some point and believe me there is a light. Yes I still have bad days, where I can not think of nothing else other then that night. I have also once or twice since cut my wrist to try and ease the pain. It may numb the pain at that moment in time but does not help in the long run. Talking helps! Most of my days are now good. I am proud of how far i have become and I still continue to grow stronger. Believe me, you can make it through this.