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Oct 27

Melissa’s Story: ‘I didn’t’ changed to ‘I was too drunk to know what I was doing’

It was near the end of my first semester of my sophomore year in college. I had left for two weeks prior because of depression and wasn’t sure if I was going to finish the semester, but ended up coming back.

It was my first Friday night back and I didn’t have any plans of going out to a party but a guy friend of mine asked if I wanted to hangout with him and some friends. So I went to his house and I told them I wasn’t planning on drinking. The one friend kept calling me a ‘pussy’ because I wasn’t drinking and kept giving me his large water bottle full of vodka and trying to convince me… and eventually I caved in. I was pretty small at the time only 110lbs and I definitely considered myself a light weight. I told them all I needed to eat some food or I was going to get sick but of course I never got food and ended up getting more drunk than I had planned. My friend’s friend lived close by off campus and had a hot tub and suggested me, him, my friend, and their other friend go to his house in his hot tub. When we got there I ended up getting sick and was throwing up over the side of the hot tub. While I was throwing up the kid’s house that we were at took this as an opportunity to start touching me under the water. My friend said I was too drunk and that they should take me back to his place so I could sleep it off. The guy went to go get us towels and I told my friend that he was touching me so he promised that he’d get me back so I could sleep and make sure that his friend wasn’t anywhere near me.
They took me back and they all went out to a party. What I remember from that point is being in a dark room and someone trying to force themselves into me anally and me getting up as fast as I could to leave and then I stopped because I had no idea where any of my clothes were… the guy pushed me out of the way booked it out of the room and I could see his car start and he drove away quickly. I just sat in my friend’s room naked crying until he came back. He came in and asked where my clothes were and I explained I didn’t know what happened but that someone was in the room with me and left as soon as I figured out what was going on. He comforted me and in the morning explained that his friend strayed away from the party and they couldn’t find him and that another person who lived in the house saw his friend go into his room and also found his empty pack of cigarettes. The friend convinced me not to report it because he would get in trouble since it happened at his house… I confronted his friend and asked what happened and he said he didn’t know what I was talking about he went to a party… I didn’t have the courage to say anything else for a month or so and I told him I knew what happened and that other people did too. He then said, ‘Im sorry I was drunk and didn’t know what I was doing.’ It wasn’t a real apology, he wasn’t drunk he had convinced me to drink pretty much all he had. I blamed myself for getting into the situation but it’s been a year and I no longer blame myself.
#MeToo

About the author

WYR

When You’re Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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