I drank too much at a bar, and asked someone I knew to take me home since I was too wasted to drive. When we got there, I was feeling affectionate and invited him in. I just wanted to make out like we had a few times before, but he started taking off my clothes. I told him to stop, I told him no. I told him I was on my period. I told him the condom on my nightstand was kind of old and I didn’t trust it. I don’t know if you could call what I did “resisting” but I didn’t assist him as he took off his pants, put on the dodgy condom and then had sex with me while I still had a tampon in. It hurt.
In the morning, he was still there. I made us both breakfast and apologized for my bad behavior. He left, and I felt terrible for being such a horrible person.
Once I realized I had been raped, I started to weigh the possibilities. The only “evidence” I had was the bartender knowing that the rapist drove me home because I was drunk. After that, there was no “evidence” that it wasn’t consensual. My attacker was a Marine veteran who has recently returned from war. He was well-regarded. I was drunk and invited him in.
I’m one of those horrible women who is raped and never comes forward. I make it worse for the rest of you. But if I had screamed from the rooftops that I was raped by ********* *******, I would have lost all my friends, been targeted by all his Marine buddies, and lost my job and place in society. …and there would never be a conviction because who would believe a drunk girl over a Marine Hero.