Maryam’s Story: DOES HE EVEN KNOW IF HE DID SOMETHING WRONG?

Maryam’s Story: DOES HE EVEN KNOW IF HE DID SOMETHING WRONG?

I was doing a get together lunch with all my friends and my sister. It was february 2018. And in Chile it was a hot sunny day. He came by because I invited him.

He came by because I trusted him. He was my friend. My parents knew him. All my social circle knew him. He was liked by everybody.

I should have known something was wrong. I should have. One part of my brain was screaming to not trust him. But… everybody trusts him? Why shouldn’t I?

He asked for privacy, I didn’t think that was weird, he wanted to tell me some personnal things. Or that what he said. We went in my room, but I left the door opened, even if he asked to close it. I am very stubborn. We start talking, he gets closer every moment. He starts touching me. I keep telling myself: HE IS YOUR FRIEND. He wasn’t. I tell him to stop, he doesn’t. He teases me saying “We are friends why can’t I touch your legs.” I get scared. I was scared the whole time. I want him to leave, I want him to get out of my house. I think of my friends and sisters that are in the other room. I know they will not hear me if I scream. I try to leave when he gets to fisical but he blocks my path. I am trapped in my own room. My safe heaven. The place I let a few people in. How dare he? I was 16, he was 19. Taller. Bulkier. Stronger. He could hurt me. He was leaning to kiss me. One hand on my butt, the other in th e zipper of my jeans.

I sream.

I scream on the top of my lungs, he gets surprised. I open the door and slam it into his face. I run to th e other room. I want to cry. I want to kill him. How could he? How dare he? How could I let it happen???

I don’t know how I did it, but when I saw him next to me, in the living room. With all those witnesses. I felt an energy ran threw me. I felt so strong.

“I need you to get out.” He didn’t get it. He didn’t get why I didn’t want to kiss him, or have sex with him. He called me a slut, a hipocrit, a tease. He didn’t understand the word no. NO!

No, I do not want to kiss you.
No, I am not a tease.
No, I am not playing hard to get.
No I didn’t do anything to deserve this shit.
No, you aren’t welcome in my house anymore.
I want you out.

His thick stupid peanut sized brain didn’t register so I did something that tioday I still find it hilarious: “I am sorry, I am in a relantionship, so what you did put me in a compromising situation.”
It worked.
It fucking worked.

He left, seconds later sendind me a text saying that: “Even if you want to, don’t tell anybody.”

Well, bitch. Guess what.

I told everybody.

Author

WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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