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Oct 25

Gem’s Story: The Year Of 2009

Growing up was hard. I used to attend a catholic pre-school from the age of three to around five years old. Every Friday a priest who we had to call ‘father’ would come every Friday for prayers and he would take me into his office and would put his hand up my skirt. That was the earliest memories I had of school.

But that’s not why I’m here. At the age of nine I used to play with all the kids on my street. One of the kids I was friends with was a 15 year old boy who lived right round the corner. He was a troubled kid. He was strange and his parents scared me. But I was always told to be nice. He was an adult figure to me cause my mum would rely on him to make sure we cross the road safe when going to the park.
One day my Gran was baby sitting cause my parents work a lot and he brung me into my bedroom.
He started acting paranoid and kept looking out of the window to make sure my Gran was still outside handing out the washing.

He told me he was gonna play a game and the game was called don’t scream. I remember hugging my baby doll because my child mind thought he was gonna jump out on me and I wasn’t aloud to get scared.
Her told me to turn around and I did.
I played with my hair and I moved away but he grabbed onto my hair and pulled it.
He pushed me down and pinned me down. Pulling down my leggings and forcing the dress off of me and forced me to give in oral sex. He also roughly felt my genitals so much that I bled.

I remember he picked me up and sat me on the bed. He grabbed a face wipe and wiped the blood away from in between my legs and he put my dress back on. He brushed my hair and kissed my cheek.
He told me if I told anyone he would do it again but he’d fuck me instead.

That night I scrubbed my skin with a nail brush because I had never felt more dirtier in my life.

I’m 17 now and I will never tell my mother. I almost did. But covered it up and sugar coated it cause she wouldn’t take me seriously.

I never knew what a whore meant when I was 9 but I sure as hell knew what it felt like to feel like one.

He was about to leave

About the author

WYR

When You’re Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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