Turn the Pain into Power.

2017 has been a rollercoaster of a year with so many disturbing events have unfolded resulting in amazing events occurring. One could not happen without the other. I have so many topics to discuss but I shall start from the

989 days, 3 hours, 18 minutes, and 47 seconds later

989 days, 3 hours, 18 minutes, and 47 seconds later

To the small town, liberal arts college quarterback that sexually assaulted me, It’s been 989 days, 3 hours, 18 minutes, and 47 seconds since you assaulted me. I have a lot of things I’ve been wanting to say for the

Acceptance – No Justice

Acceptance – No Justice

** Trigger warning** I have been dealing with my attack for over two years now and it feels insane to even say that it has been that long. It felt like just yesterday everything happened. You make progress…then you go

Me Too: A Poem

Me Too: A Poem

For the girl on the bus using her headphones to drown out the advancements of the man as well as his disgusting words and tones   For the woman walking late at night With her keys spread as a weapon

Me Too

Me Too

I’m crying for all my friends and family, and perfect strangers, who are bravely standing up to say “me too” today. And for those who aren’t in a place where they can speak up, we are here for you too.

She took my advice, and for that I am ashamed.

She took my advice, and for that I am ashamed.

She told me what happened and that she was thinking of reporting the man who was harassing her. I believed her, and I told her so. I gave her the names of some people at the firm who had been supportive of me.
And I told her not to report it.
I told her it was pointless, that the firm would not support her and the only outcome would be a damaged career.
She took my advice, and for that I am ashamed.

Follow up to a Story: There is no perfect healing

Follow up to a Story: There is no perfect healing

I always imagined trauma was like being followed. Every once in a while you'll pull far enough ahead of the lights, just to see them catch up again. Except in this case, I feel that when it's really close, I'm splayed out on the pavement, the high beams blinding me with those gnarly details again. 

Friends can break your heart, too: A story of betrayal

Friends can break your heart, too: A story of betrayal

Finding a support system when dealing with any type of trauma or emotional battle can be very hard and, at times, exhausting. Especially after something as violating as sexual assault, it can be terrifying to open up about it to

Title IX and Survivors On Campuses

Title IX and Survivors On Campuses

There’s been much debate on Betsy DeVos’ new statements about needing to “reform Title IX” in universities across the United States. It is no secret that DeVos primarily met with only the “accused” (cough rapists cough) instead of listening to

Honest coping mechanisms for Anxiety/Depression/PTSD

Honest coping mechanisms for Anxiety/Depression/PTSD

With my laptop out of commission, I haven’t been able to write like I intended. However, my laptop is back at full capacity, so here we are. I wanted to write, I wanted to say something to the world now

Shame and Abuse

http://wp.me/p7LcIw-bC http://wp.me/p7LcIw-bC This morning I had one of ‘those’ starts…. I slept through my alarm at 5:13am due to a restless night and bad dreams, no fun. This always feels like an earthquake drill. I hate being late and it’s

3:51 am

3:51 am

It’s 3:51 am, I have my first interview for a position in my field after graduation at 11:30 am. I should be fast asleep, not staring at my ceiling as if it were an empty void. Sleep sounds wonderful in

“Praying”: Why Kesha’s new single is something every survivor needs to hear

“Praying”: Why Kesha’s new single is something every survivor needs to hear

Whether you decided to not come forward about your assault, did come forward but not heard or lost your case, or even won your case, we can all agree that one of our biggest fears when processing our assaults is

Learning to fight the silence: a story

Learning to fight the silence: a story

For my first blog post with WYR, I wanted to tell a quick story about my college experience that I hope will encourage all of you to speak up when you can and to never allow yourself to be silenced.  

WYR Welcomes Katie!

WYR Welcomes Katie!

We are happy to have Katie on our team and part of our community, and look forward to her blog posts. This survivor has a lot to say, and a strong voice.

Growing My Safety Net

I currently consider myself well into my recovery journey. This is a far away place from where I was emotionally and mentally 5 years ago and really even one year ago when I started more intensive therapy.  I had never

Changing Views with the Healing Journey

Changing Views with the Healing Journey

I remember years ago thinking people who could forgive a monster capable of harm, an abuser, rapist, a bad person– they must be nuts.  I could not fathom even the thought.  Forgiveness was a swear word.  Now, I’m feeling a

It’s Okay To Have Weak Points, It Doesn’t Mean You’re Weak

When someone hurts you in a way that you never thought they were capable of, it does something to you emotionally and physically. You start to doubt that the person that you once were was anything special. That maybe you

Lost: The Trail from Sexual Abuse to Addiction

Lost: The Trail from Sexual Abuse to Addiction

It takes courage to reach out for help. Treatment extends further than a rehabilitation facility and may span from weeks to years. Substance addicts with a history of sexual abuse, however, have a more specific set of needs that will be addressed in treatment. There are countless therapy and family groups available so victims of sexual abuse and struggling addicts don’t feel alone in their recovery.

I will prevail

I will prevail

You
Rapist, offender, criminal
You stole my soul and my will to live that night

WYR Welcomes Blogger Samantha McCoy!

WYR Welcomes Blogger Samantha McCoy!

I am delighted to welcome Samantha McCoy to the WYR team! Samantha’s story is one that is I am learning is increasingly common: she was assaulted by a police officer. As this receives more coverage in the media, we also start to receive more

The Last 5 Percent

The Last 5 Percent

I like to think I’m 95% recovered from PTSD. At my worst, I was afraid to leave my house. It took pep talks and bribery to get me out the door, even to go to the grocery store. Panic attacks

Ten Years On. Taking Action.

Ten years has gone by and I can remember the assault like it was yesterday. There was a time in the ten years that passed that it was easier to dwell on the event, let it consume me and let

A letter from me to you…

A letter from me to you…

Thank you for trusting me with your Stories. Thank you for your vulnerability, and for your courage. On behalf of all survivors, thank you for helping us see that we are not alone. And thank you for being patient with me.

The Gaslight is ON.

The Gaslight is ON.

I’m sorry for writing another piece about this garbage when there’s already so much of it swirling around, and I’m sure it’s adding fuel to the flames. But I have something to get off my chest and I think it’s

Wonderful Women

Last week I started to write about Trump and his openness to sexual assault. Writing about it however made me so angry, and so I stopped for a breather, which lasted over a week. In that time I focused on other aspects

Have PTSD, Will Travel

Have PTSD, Will Travel

I know, logically, he is not going to rape me; but it is impossible to reason with myself in these moments because I am not even here. I am 6,000 miles away. I am not a confident, independent, experienced traveler. I am a sixteen year old girl who blames herself.

Not Guilty Does Not Equal Innocent

Not Guilty Does Not Equal Innocent

For those who were not following the trial or verdict, Jian Ghomeshi was acquitted on 4 counts of sexual assault and 1 count of choking on March 24, 2016. I know this is (several months) late. I needed time to process it all

This is not who I am.

This is not who I am.

I look at her and feel resentment. Her pretty hair and tanned skin and genuine smile make me angry. She’s 16 years old, a virgin. She’s an honour student with plans to go to law school. She has hope. Now she’s a painful reminder that I don’t get to be any of those things again. Someone should tell her that her dreams don’t come true.

It’s on Us. All of Us.

Fellow blogger Elizabeth emailed the WYR team in the past few days to see how we were all doing. The Stanford Rapist case has hit us all hard. It hit us hard because it is the same story, the same

A Letter to my Rapist

A Letter to my Rapist

I don't want an apology because I know you're not sorry. I know you'd do it again. I know you did.
But there is one thing…
Say your own name. Own what you did. Admit you raped me.
Or just wait, wondering when I will.

The Great Divide

The Great Divide

Any major trauma will split your life into two – before and after. Everything falls away and you’re left with the reality that life as you know it is over, and everything is different now. Everything you thought you knew or

The No One Told Me Series: Trust and Control

The No One Told Me Series: Trust and Control

The No One Told Me Series is a compilation of nuanced thoughts, feelings, and issues that can develop after sexual assault. These issues aren’t always discussed in large media outlets, help guides, social media, or in everyday conversations. This series

Four Years Later – Here I Am

Four Years Later – Here I Am

Four years ago tonight, I was fighting for my life. Last year I wrote a reflection piece, and I wanted to do another one to see how far I’ve come. Approaching The Date This year I didn’t dread the date as

The No One Told Me Series: Eye Contact

The No One Told Me Series: Eye Contact

No one told me that after I shared my story, people wouldn’t be able to look me in the eye. They would look just past my shoulder, or down at their shoes, or duck to avoid me. They would mumble

Becoming Healthy Again : Part Two.

Meditation is a great practice to incorporate into your daily lives. It is however not as easy as it sounds, I know it was not easy for me as my brain would not turn off and I was constantly thinking

Becoming Healthy Again (Part One)

After my assault, literally the next day I worked out at the gym across the street from my drama school. that gym was to become my second home. Before the assault I used to gym it about three days a

The No One Told Me Series: The “I” Word

The No One Told Me Series: The “I” Word

  INTIMACY This is the topic I have been dreading since my first day as a WYR Blogger. There is no word I hate more in the entire English language. My friends tease me about it & try to fit

It’s OK If You Don’t Speak Out

It’s OK If You Don’t Speak Out

I’ve been open with my story online for about a year now. However, I have just recently begun speaking in public, where “real life” people could see and recognize me. This has garnered many, many comments about my bravery. I appreciate

When You’re Ready on Alberta Primetime

When You’re Ready on the News! I was interviewed for a segment on Alberta Primetime, called Alberta Stories last week. It aired last night and the link is now active. In the segment I discuss the assault, the aftermath, and