Anonymous Story: Scared Little Girl in the Basement

Anonymous Story: Scared Little Girl in the Basement

My babysitter was a lackadaisical woman. She forgot my allergy to nuts on more than one occasion forcing me to pipe at the tender age of 8 that I couldn’t eat what she was serving. Whenever this happened a substitute wasn’t provided, and that was fine as aside from interactions with her, I enjoyed my time at her house. My friend and her younger sister were also babysat by her and the three of us provided a good balance for our babysitters son who even as a child had overly aggressive tendencies. The only downside was that my friend and her sister went to catholic school, while I along with the babysitters son attended public school.

I remember that PA day way more often than I feel I should. The babysitter, though without the two other girls, had been saddled with an extra three boys she needed to take care of. Tiring of us quickly she promised her son he could watch whatever he wanted and promptly set us up in the basement. Turning off the lights and putting on the movie Speed, she retreated to the living room where she completely forgot about us.

How the event came about is a mystery to me, but the four boys eventually ran out of things to occupy them and decided to experiment with me. Some older and some younger than me, they pinned me down, removed their and my underwear and simulated a gang rape. While no fluids were exchanged and their game was spent within 15 minutes I still struggle to deal with what happened.

It doesn’t help either that once I managed to tell my mother what happened (after several months) she simply found me a new babysitter. She is still good friends with the woman I place the blame on as the boys were underage and it was her duty to watch and protect me. As an added bit of irony, the babysitters son’s uniform now reads “to serve and protect”.

Paltry in comparison with many other stories here, I see it as the foundation for my inability to foster a deep relationship with anyone. Several times I have been close to having either a relationship or sex and something in me screams that I cannot be put in that position again. To this day I am convinced that it will end with me scared, curled in a ball beside the couch, while the enemy, happy with his/their conquest enjoy the rest of the movie and chortle over their sport.

Author

WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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