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Nov 16

Anonymous Story: Your Mom is supposed to protect you.

I was always a sensitive child but very adventurous and bossy. Since I can remember my Mother had many many “boyfriends.” She wasn’t around all that much so my Grandparents felt more important to me.

I remember waking up in the car in various parking lots or driveways. I walked in on her having sex with many many different men from my earliest memories.

Then she met my Stepdad. He was her ex boyfiend’s father and when I was 5 they got together. I remember I was always weirded out by being alone with him. He seemed to have some control issues.

It started one night when I woke up in my bed to him kneeling at the side of my bed toughing my body. It was dark. I freaked out and cried for my mom. She wasn’t answering. I ran out of our house to my babysitters next door.

After that I was molested for many years. I sought it out after a while thinking it was love. MY MOM and my stepdad would have me. We watched porn. Did it as a group outside. On trips. I was full on having sex with my own mother. She never stopped it.

During this time I was approached by countless men. They could see it. They knew I was sexualized. At 8 I was raped at knife point by a neighbors uncle. so so terrifying. No one did anything. I saw this man daily for months after. My mom said I made it up. She knew this creep had been in prison almost his whole life. She was too afraid that it would come out about her and my Stepdad.

At 13 my Mom told me I had to leave. That my Stepdad did not want me in their house and since my real dad was dead my SSI could pay for a place to live. I became a street kid in Hollywood dodging all the scary things that happen. Thank God for punk rock. Saved my life and made me fearless.

Years later I verbally forgave my Stepdad. My Mom I cannot but ironically I take care of her. She had a stroke and lives next door to me. My want to find love for her has ruined my 17 year marriage and there is no love from me there.

Therapy for many years has helped. I have ALWAYS been outspoken about it and that is because I will not let them victimize me. I want to help others more than anything.

Molestation and rape kill your childhood and work at you throughout your life no mater what.

About the author

WYR

When You’re Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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