Anonymous Story: Victim’s Syndrome

Anonymous Story: Victim’s Syndrome

Victims Syndrome

I am the mother of a brutally raped victim. I am 54, she is 22 and was not experienced in dealing with manipulative men. Upon learning all the details of this horrendous ongoing event in my own home, (while I was out, or outside of the house), I reported it to the police, who in turn assigned it to Special Victims Squad. The DA is handling the case, and the detective said, “when I arrest him things will change”. This is where we’re at right now. Awaiting arrest and praying he get’s 1st degree rape charges.

Ongoing brutal violent, and forcible rape with choking, and violent hitting involved. A very large guy former (former military) who has a long list, (so we learned) of victims in his wake. He choked my daughter while pregnant in the shower causing her to faint, while he was raping her. She cannot estimate how many times he raped her, she can only recall the length of time it went on for, and how terrified she was to say anything to anyone. I personally have never been more shocked, and devastated by something more than this in my entire life. She has suffered tremendous physical and emotional abuse, and is still being victimized by the forced individuals we have to deal with to take action against the predator.

Although the detective is extremely caring and aggressive in pursuit of arrest…while I was in the waiting room of the squad unit, I over heard other officials laughing and saying extremely offensive things about Dr. Ford in re: to the supreme court hearings. I will not type his name, and my loyalty is to women. Being personally offended, and sitting there waiting for my daughter to come back out I was forced to listen to these guys go on and on about how funny it is, how she is lying, and what will she make up next. Laughing about everything they were talking about to and extreme loud level. It took every bit of strength and composure not to get up and slam them verbally for offending me, and all women. This was the week of 9-25-18 Horrifying really. It tells me the help is fake.

My daughter is so incredibly affected by all of this, as am I that we have great fear of this guy already. Now living, and witnessing the gaping whole of help and victims assistance which is really just a big fat facade, the fear has only increased. We have a police alarm installed in the house, which I suppose is better than nothing, and we have webcams up, but that doesn’t help in public places. She and I have great fear of coming in contact with him, (and other men too), as he is extremely violent, has guns, and illegal knives, only watches incestuous porn, and his family is enabling him to continue.

The victims groups are severely lacking, and so far we have found zero help. We need a Sex Crime Lawyer on contingent, and possibly may have to relocate. The burden of this has caused extreme financial hardship, and now the courts have forced her to set up supervised visitation which my daughter actually has to pay for. The rapist gets visitation, pays no support, and is harassing my daughter with trying to get custody. It is one of the most sickening cases I have ever witnessed, and to add insult to injury, we’re both being treated very rudely by all that we are being forced to come into contact with in an attempt to fight this. I do mean all, such as the courts, the so called services for victims, the hotlines, which are incredibly lacking, and even the attorneys who represent her interest in court. I live in a state of shock at how a victim is treated, and it goes even deeper than that. People we are associated with suddenly do not believe in her, or stand by her, with this shocking and sudden loss of credibility because she is a victim. I am experiencing the very same thing in my attempts to protect my daughter, as I am being told by certain individuals to be quiet, to not talk on her behalf, and general overall rudeness from many people I have been forced to deal with to fight and protect her rights. I am truly astonished by it. We are forever changed, and definitely will never be the same again.

We were very happy, and normal before this happened, and now the toll, coupled with the lacking protection, and massive amount of men we’re forced to deal within every entity, every court, and all parts of enforcement…It’s a bombardment on the mind, and our life…what’s left of it. I am seeing the affect of intense fail, and negativity and how it consumes us. I greatly fear for women, and now that I have lived this, and witnessed everything with my own eyes, and ears…I’m permanently horrified. Actually I was already horrified because I worked in horrible industries. I find most men to be indifferent, complacent, complicit, and abusive towards both her and I, especially once they learn she is a victim. I am also being discriminated by many associates, business people, and so called friends – I used to think of as friends, but not so much anymore. From what I can see once you are a victim, you’re suddenly deemed a liar, you have zero credibility in anything, what you knew, know, or specialize in is suddenly compromised, and all of sudden friends just fade away, or disappear, or completely avoid you. It’s like once you’re a victim of something you’re stripped of everything and now you’re just an existing target on display. To me it does appear as a “Syndrome” derived of mental, and psychological ignorance, that simply fills in the gaping holes of ignorance present in any individual made up of presumptions to cast and formulate incorrect judgments. Judge, jury, and executioner all wrapped up in a package of whopping negativity that is 100% detriment to our society today.

I usually tell those who I witness making judgment calls…If you wish to judge me, then I better be dead, and you better be God! It usually does shut them up, but it does not correct the blatant ignorance so many are willing to live their lives by. Never stopping to look back at those they harmed due to that ignorance. In my position today, at this point right now…There is no help. I have literally made hundreds of phone calls, called every victims hotline, dept., and center I could find and there is nothing. We found some food banks that were really nice, some people in our travels who said they were sorry, but ultimately we truly found no help, no attorneys partial to women to take the civil case on contingency. The washington sex crimes hotline numbers don’t even work, they fail to call back, and if they do, they don’t even leave a message. I am finding this to be a pattern of zero communication with the citizens in every officials office, and not just limited to rape.

I take civic duty very seriously, and I care greatly for the women, children and wildlife or our planet, and after so many years of abuse with men in my life, and my families lives I cannot allow myself to have sympathy for men any longer. I am celibate for well over 10 years now by choice, and I have no plan to ever allow any man into my life again. We finally have relief and calmness for once now that we have purged them from our lives, and I can find not one women anywhere who has not been abused by men in some horrendous way. My family is all women now, and all of us have suffered tremendous abuse in many ways, and looking back on our family line just instills more shock that I live with. The damages we have endured tally up to in the millions over a lengthy period of time, and the violence leaves such a lasting impression. It never goes away, and these sexual predators are everywhere and walking freely.

Most women I am associated with are in fact planning life without men, and what I see happening is a migration of women joining together building better futures for women and children. I think it wise to adapt to the mathematics of the current plight on women and I’m not sure why an actual “Announced Sex Strike” is not in affect publicly. I’v done extensive studies of several subjects, this being one of them and it was found to be intensely productive and corrective to force the change needed to eradicate the problem. Or should I say exterminate…

All we are encountering at this point is one giant – penis agenda at every turn, with zero consideration for women. I am so unbelievably tired of the penis agenda, which has been in effect for far too long. I worked my entire life in the legal, banking and real estate area and was discriminated pay wise, sexually harassed at every job, and treated less than acceptable the whole time. I actually chatted with Sen. Golble-de-gook about it, and when were finished I said, “I’d like my back pay for 35 years please”. As a women who has lived and witnessed this I can only elaborate on what I’ve seen, heard, and lived through, and frankly it’s too much. I am forever changed, and forced to be paranoid, or stop and think before I trust someone, and just be generally wary of all men. I cannot shake the feelings I have, and happened to study psychology as one of my majors. Yet still I live in great fear, despite understanding things perfectly.

It helps me to write about things so that is what brought me here, and I wholeheartedly back, and thank Dr. Ford for coming forward and I know now how intensely difficult that was, and is. I fear for her too, and her family. I am living it with her, and in my psychology studies I learned and know beyond any shadow of doubt…there isn’t a chance she would be willing to go through this unless she was inclined in a civic manner to correct history with true facts. She is not sadist, and would not endure this unless she felt compelled to do so for the good of the many. Her only motive that can be identified and confirmed. The damages she endured are a prime example of the harm brought to women by men. PERIOD.

Another Supreme Court Judge Bruno, was arrested for locking his law secretary in his chambers to sexually prey on her. WHY was this case not mentioned, I wonder…it happened in 2017 in Supreme Court Nassau, NY. One guy lies, the other swears to it…underwhelming pattern for how long??? Oh right hundreds of years…Today males are underwhelming, boring, self serving, and using women to service themselves. A mindless, aimless, unproductive existence of parasites literally living off of women. Time to shed.

Luckily women are more stealthy, quiet, and simply clean up the mess…Only this time the men are not being invited back, or invited in, or sought after, or serviced. I checked the dating stats on one big site…60,000 men looking for women, with 6000 women looking for men. It’s the MATH of the matter now…I follow numbers, and I’m am glad to see it. I bet 80% are married anyway, and some have 6 profiles too…Swimming in a tank of snakes, guarantees a venomous attack…ssssssssssss

Author

WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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