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Jul 13

Anonymous Story: The night he changed my life

I had just turned 16 and I remember how happy I was just got back from an amazing holiday, happy to see my friends and ready to go out and get drunk. [E] and me getting ready taking selfies to go to a gathering full of our friends but it ended to be the worst thing in the world. We got there laughs, smiles and drinks all round..

The night continued just like you would expect any night to but it quickly took a turn for the worst, [E] was drunk and just wanted to go to her boyfriends which I couldn’t go to, I lived half an hour away from where I was I had no money and it was early morning. I was getting tired, just wanted to go home but I couldn’t get there. [E] left about 230am I begged her to stay but she just didn’t want to.

The night continued with only little people that I knew there all boys so I asked him if I could get in his bed just to rest. He said yes and I later learnt why.

You are probably wondering who ‘he’ is but we will get to that part soon.

I was in his bed for what felt like hours but time was quickly passing and I couldn’t wait to get picked up, go home and spend the day with my mum. I was tired, emotional and felt uncomfortable in someone else’s bed but I trusted everyone in the house and just wanted sleep.

4am came round and he came up I thought he was a friend, I thought he wanted a chat, I thought he wanted to be nice but I was wrong, so so wrong. He looked scary, didn’t know what he was doing, drunk, high and on cocaine, I’d never experienced what a drug like that would to your body, I’d never seen it. His were rolling, he could barely stand his words weren’t making any sense. I told him to go back downstairs but he closed his bedroom door and locked it from the inside. He came and sat on the bed..

Tried to kiss me I laughed it off and asked what he was doing but he wouldn’t stop that’s when it all started. Seconds began to feel like Minutes and minutes started feeling like hours, his arm around me trying to kiss me I said stop but he wouldn’t stop. He forced himself on me, touching me, telling me it was ‘okay’ I knew it wasn’t okay but I was scared. His full body weight on top of me kissing my neck and this is when I knew it was too late. Touching me in places I didn’t want him to..

I remember Crying in fear, my whole body frozen, stiff, cold. I was in pain like I had never felt. It’s a blur from there. He got up smirked left the room.

I sat there hurting, crying my eyes out, still frozen, wondering what had happened, blaming myself. I didn’t know what to do.

I got up after half an hour got my stuff and left. I was hurting so much.

16.05.15 I got raped, [J] changed my life and ruined me as person.

About the author

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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