Anonymous Story: The continuum

Anonymous Story: The continuum

I had sex last night. I didn’t want to. I said, “No, stop. I don’t want to have sex right now.” He stopped. Then put my hand on his penis. Like it was his consolation prize. I laughed. “Is that what you do when a girl says no?”

“There are other things we can do besides sex” he said. But that’s where he was wrong. When I said no sex, I meant I didn’t want to be sexual with him. In any way. I wanted to innocently flirt, hold hands, and cuddle on his couch. He saw it as a line crossed when his penis entered my vagina. I saw it as a continuum. It’s not, Everything But. It’s encompassing all sexual acts. The pressuring to feel my breasts, to take off my pants, those all fall under the continuum of “Sexual.” I didn’t want any of it.

The constant pushing, pestering, tugging at my belt loop, undoing a button, rubbing up against me…there’s only so much I can take before I give up fighting, arguing, pushing away, laughing off.

It’s not fun when you’re simply giving up. Giving up isn’t consent. Giving in isn’t consent.

Author

WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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