Anonymous Story: “That’s Just How Boys Are “

Anonymous Story: “That’s Just How Boys Are “

” That’s just how boys are ” will always be the words I hate . My story starts with Homecoming night 1995 .I was 14 and very excited to be asked to Homecoming dance .The boy was my then 1st Boyfriend of a few months . I got the perfect dress had my neighbor d my hair .I couldnt have been happier I was the only one in my group of friends to have a boyfriend he was 16 had a car and was very popular. His name was D, I met him at the Boys and girls club that summer he was a junior counselor. It’s now the night of the dance and I wait eagerly and excitedly not knowing that this night would change the rest of my life .The dance itself was fun but my curfew was 12am the latest . D seemed very impatient and wanted to leave the dance he said he didnt want to make my parents mad. We got to my neighborhood 1 hour before curfew so he decided to park at the local soccer park . We were alone and 2 blocks from my house when he started to kiss me I knew what he was about to try so I said NO . I begged and I cried I felt like it was hours he tore my dress and pantyhose and I pushed and tried to get out . When he was done he drove me home . I remember being on auto pilot I let myself into my house took off my torn clothes took a shower then walked my clothes out to the trash. I remember thinking I was going to get in trouble for being late but I noticed I was early by 30 mins .I got in bed with my little sister and cried myself to sleep .In the morning my sister asked me if he hurt me because I was bleeding on our bed and crying all night . I made her promise not to say a word because it was my fault I must have done something wrong. Weeks went by and I didn’t hear from him and would avoid him at school .My mother eventually found out and we went to the school administrator. The principal at the time was a Male and his Words will haunt me for ever …” That’s how boys are ” he explained how I couldn’t do anything about it because I let time pass, it was my word against his and I needed to move on . In the following weeks I would get threats by his family and friends ..I was terrified to go to school I went back to the admins again but this time I was told that Independent study would suit me better and I was pulled out of school.. Needless to say my life changed I didnt go back and I had it in my mind that sex was something you had no control of because if they want it they can take it. I was depressed had a eating disorder and got pregnant by the age of 16 my life was in shambles I was in abusive relationship for 6 years because I was taught “that’s how boys are ” I had 2 kids by the age of 21 and was miserable..When I was 22 I met my now husband who has shown me No that’s not how boys are .We are married have 2 kid our own and he has taken my 2 older kids as his own . My family knows my story I make it a point to share it and my boys know No means No ..Its been over 22 years and D never once had to pay for what he did that night and that “wonderful principal ” from what I heard is still at that school… 30 mins was all it took for him to take my life and flip it upside down.

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WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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