Anonymous Story: Story from the girl next door

Anonymous Story: Story from the girl next door

I grew up in a small town as the perfect, Christian, cheerleader. I was popular in high school, my parents pride and joy, I was skilled when it came to academics, and there was constantly a smile on my face. My mom used to tell me that pain is only mental and the last thing I would want to do is ruin my reputation. Junior year at age 15 I got my first boyfriend. He was star of the football team, every girl wanted to be with him, and the boy I considered to be everything I had ever wanted. He talked sports and real estate with my dad and made my mom laugh and played catch with my brother. He was everything I considered perfect. The first week into our relationship after a football game we were in the back seat of his truck making out, when he asked me if I wanted to have sex. I told him no and told him I wasn’t ready and he still acted on it. Before I knew it he was on top of me and I was no longer a virgin. I played it off and told my friends it was what I wanted, but every night I cried and prayed to god that he would forgive me and my parents would never find out, and most of all I prayed I wasn’t pregnant because he didn’t use a condom and didn’t want to “waste his money” on plan b. I told everyone around me I was pro life and didn’t believe in abortion, which was a reflection of my family’s conservative views, and suddenly I was faced with the possible need for it. At age 15 I was terrified that I would have to choose between keeping my faith or keeping my family. The next weekend I was at his house and on my period, so he asked for a blowjob. I told him I didn’t want to and didn’t feel comfortable and he forced me down and held my head so that I couldn’t get up. He told me he has needs and it was my job as a girlfriend to fulfill them. He told me he loved me and was going to marry me and I was so blind and naive that I believed him. That summer I moved five hours away and he cheated on me. I blamed myself and told myself that it was only fair he could have sex with other girls when I was far away and couldn’t do that for him. I’m not ready to tell my story to the people close to me, and it may be something I’ll never be strong enough to do, but I know that this is the heartbreaking reality for millions of girls all over the world. It can happen to anyone. Even the girls who hold their faith and their standards close to them. NO GIRL, no matter age or sexual orientation, religious or not, where they grew up or how much money they have. NO GIRL should have to experience crying themselves to sleep every night for years on end because a boy forced them into something they did not want to do.

Author

WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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