Anonymous Story: It Was a Woman and I’m Guilty Too

Anonymous Story: It Was a Woman and I’m Guilty Too

My current husband and I met when he was still married. Although we never had a sexual relationship, hindsight is 20/20 and there was validity to his wife gut instinct. When his wife found out we were friends and was completely enraged. One day she started texting me and calling me, telling me that he was lying to me and asked if we were having an affair. I told her no, because I guess at that time I didn’t realize it could be considered an affair…he was just my best friend. She asked me if we could meet up at a local pub for a drink and to talk, which I happily agreed to because, well, I had nothing to hide.

She was there when I arrived, sitting at the bar. She stood up to hug me and after, I took a seat next to her. We each had a few drinks, and she shared way too many personal things with me-she even brought her journal to show me. At one point she started to cry and I comforted her. We sat there for probably 4 hours, just talking. I felt good at the end, like we had accomplished something and she could see that I wasn’t a threat. We went out the back door and she told me she was going to walk home…she only lived a mile away. I told her that I was fine to drive and that I would be happy to give her a ride home. I opened the passenger door for her and went around to my side.

As soon as I sat in the drivers seat she got in my face and started kissing me. I pulled away and can’t remember exactly what was said. She started fondling me, my breasts, pulling my shirt up and kissing me all over. I completely froze. She started kissing my breasts, and then she unzipped my pants. She put her fingers inside me and when I started to cry and ask her why she was doing this, her tone was almost demonic and said to me “did you fuck my husband?” I cried no, and she started to talk dirty to me. She asked me if I would take her to the Best Western down the road where she could continue to do things to me. She told me she didn’t want to go home. I have no idea why I didn’t push her off…I even told her I’d bring her to the hotel but to drop her off, not to have sex with her. She pulled away from me and I started to drive. We weren’t 100 ft past the restaurant and she got in my lap, to the point I couldn’t see the road and continued to kiss and touch me. I pulled into a driveway and turned around. I drove her home.

The next day, my husband called me and asked what had happened…that she had come home telling him she fucked me and asked how’d he like it-I told him what happened. He left her. I had a miserable next 6 months. He and I stayed in touch, I found comfort in him…he was the only one who knew what I was going through.

I see her. Its been 7 years, and I still have to deal with her all the time. She haunts me. She denies it. She admitted to touching and kissing me (but cannot really recall what happened as it was her medications fault) in facebook message and I hold on to that with everything I have. She once told me husband I must have liked it because I never pushed her off. We went to the same wedding and she followed me to the bathroom. She told their kids I made up a lie about it, and continues to tell people my husband abused her .
The rape is not my fault, but I should have handled things differently. I want to hold her accountable but now I’ve run out of time. I feel ashamed that my rape story is about a woman, and one who thinks I was her husbands mistress.

Im sorry this was so long…but it made me feel better to write it.

Author

WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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