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Dec 08

Anonymous Story: I am here

I am here. I am alive. I am determined. I am different. I am here.
For nearly 3 and a half years I was controlled, abused, raped, put down, yelled at, and much more. I’ve told many people, but no one believes me because he manipulated them and told them I was crazy. This made me go crazy, and think to myself if I was even worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT. NO MATTER WHAT. He did something to me that I will never be able to fully understand. I sometimes wonder what even happened to me. I am different. I am scared. I am lonely. I am struggling. I found hope in all this to stand up for myself. Learned to say no. Learned to move on and never look back. I realized this my life and no one else has control over it. The only person who does is myself. I control what happens. I control how I feel. I wasn’t gonna let him control me anymore. I left. I left this toxic relationship, and after 3 years I felt free. Free to be myself. Free to wear whatever. Free to say whatever. I felt so free and just strong. I won. I won. I won this battle. HE LOST. I will learn to love myself again. I will learn to accept my flaws. I will meet new friends and learn to trust again. I will find love. I will find someone who gives me the respect I deserve. For 3 and a half years I was pushed around, told I was a slut, bitch, whore,and much worse. Told me that I deserved to die when I talked about my suicidal thoughts. I was destroyed and had no hope in getting better, but now I do. I AM MOTIVATED. It isn’t fair that during this time I had no one I could talk to. No one could stop this. We need to make domestic abuse more known and not be afraid to talk about it, because that is how we are going to change peoples views on it. I had no help within those 3 years and it isn’t fair for others to experience what I had to do. My life is forever changed, but all that matters is that I am here.

About the author

WYR

When You’re Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

Permanent link to this article: http://whenyoureready.org/anonymous-story-i-am-here/