Anonymous Story: HE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME AT 13

Anonymous Story: HE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME AT 13

It began when I was only 12, I had formally had a relationship beforehand but it was nothing too serious and it was all of curiosity at such a young age with a boy we’ll call R, we did the usual first relationship stuff kissing etc and even a few nudes because he asked and being so young I didn’t think it was wrong. R & I were only 2 years apart from each-other in age, but at the time I was in year 7 and he was in year 8.Because I knew him I was obviously introduced to all of his friends and began to open my social circle a lot more (because of facebook).Eventually we broke up but I still had that circle, I had met so many new people in such a short period of time and towards the start of 2015 I had become close with another boy we’ll call K. K & I had never met in person and had become close over him randomly messaging me on Facebook.We got close rather quickly and he eventually asked for nudes, I agreed because I thought he was a sweet guy and at the time I had got used to sending out these types of photos because of how many other people asked me.While K & I were close his friend (We’ll call him B who also was friends with R because they went to my now high school), he messaged me to see weather I was a good person because K was beginning to form feelings for me, I eventually began to talk to B a lot because he always seemed to be online like me.Eventually K’s parents found out about the nudes and he wasn’t allowed to talk to me anymore, I was devastated but I always had B there for me.Over time I forgot about K and began purely focusing on B, we were getting closer day by day up until the point his father had passed away from cancer.That day I was trying to be really supportive but being 13 I didn’t really know how to deal with a situation like this, but I tried my best.Little did I know when B & I started dating a few weeks later he’d use this against me.Over the 2-4 months we were together in 2015.He consistently asked for nudes, even though my nudes had been shared around the school and I got suspended for it (he was involved with that two but he was the only one who helped me through it so I only fell in love with him more).He asked for them almost daily, always felt my breasts up at school and used me.Being 13 I didn’t really realise what he was doing but he always brought up the victim card with his father to get more out of me even when I said no.We obviously had to keep this relationship private from our parents because of the nudes incident at school which didn’t help the fact because I had no real support system and I just kept letting it happen daily because I thought this was what ‘love’ was and it was nice having a boyfriend at school who seemed to care about you.

This went on for what felt like forever and it went from him feeling my breasts at school, to him trying to finger me during breaks.He even tried to eat me out behind the school sign out-front of our school.I really didn’t enjoy any of this but I kept letting it happen because I felt bad for him and he seemed so happy when i’d give him nudes or let him to this stuff to me.

One Saturday morning in April, I was just lazying around my house home alone because my mother & the rest of my family had gone out to my sister’s dance competition for the day.I was texting him as I usually would during the day, I told him that I was home alone but I didn’t expect anything from it because he knew I was always worried my step father would find out about us.About 2 hours later, just before I was about to watch the movie “Sex Tape” (Baha I know how funny), I hear a knock at the door and I open it.I don’t recognise who it is at first but he was tall and somewhat attractive, with brown hair and green eyes.He doesn’t say who he is but he asks for me and I was so confused but I look beyond him and there’s B peeping his head over my fence.I walk outside and give B a hug and still unknowing of who that was at my door I was stunned by seeing him, he later told me that the boy at my door was in-fact K which freaked me that fuck out.But aye, I went back inside and made myself look half decent and we decided to go on a harmless walk (we really should’ve just stayed at mine I regret it every-time I remember this memory).We walk about 5 minutes down the street into this bushy area (We live in Australia btw) and it was like a somewhat protected bushland, and them being Cadets they both run into it and I follow behind them out of fun.Eventually we all sit on this log sorta thing and have a bit of a chat, after like 5 minutes B tells K to go away.Me being 13 I was like oh yeah he’s gonna make out with me or finger me or whatever he normally does because he’s been down the past few days.K gets up and walks about 10 metres away from us (the road opposite to the bushland on a open street).B & I do what I thought but than things turned for the worse and he wants to fuck me, I wasn’t ready for this at all, I told him no but he kept begging me at he already had his pants pulled down and all.He begged and begged and continued to finger me, I said no so many times and than he like hugged me and put it in (no condom or lube or spit).He felt so fucking wrong and I kept saying no everytime he’d thrust his hips, I felt like in my life this was the first time I seriously wanted to die because I had never felt this terrible in my life.He asked me to turned around so he could fuck me doggy over this log, I refused completely and after a few more thrusts he pulled it out (didn’t cum) and just put it back in his pants.I was so fucking sad and diguisted and the feeling really stuck with me.He hugged me a little and than called his friend over as if nothing happened.He gave me some peanut butter m&ms and we ended up walking some more and we went to another bushland area and actually walked around in this one, I was quiet for majority of the walk because of the thoughts going on inside my head, he tried to make another move but I said no and it didn’t happen.Him and K dropped me home and I went to my mothers shower and cried for 3hours trying to wash out my vagina for what felt like forever.He knew I didn’t want it and I even discussed it with K later on and he agreed that it was terrible.. B never apologised for what he did to me and even though later on in our relationship (which ended no more than a month later) we had intercourse, i’ll never forget what he fucking did it me and how it felt.He did various other things like spreading my nudes and spreading ridiculous rumours and even telling people about us “fucking in a bush” which than deemed my nickname “Bush Girl” by almost every person I met in school.

It’s been almost 3 years, over those years i’ve been through a lot.For a long while I blamed myself for what happened and I cried over breaking up with him every night and got to the point where I wanted to kill myself because he didn’t love me anymore.Eventually I realised he just used me like he used everyone, he manipulated me and used his fathers death as a point of manipulation.Every time I see him at school it makes me want to vomit because I can’t get these thoughts out of my head and I have only very recently got over this ‘love’ I had for him.K & I are still close to this day and we’ve had a fair share of things i’m not proud to admit happened but they are no where near to the extent of the harm and trauma that B caused me.He didn’t only take my virginity, but he also took my sanity for 3 years and whatever dignity I had.I still get called “bush girl” at school by his close friends and people still tease me about the nudes and some even declare it wasn’t rape or that i’m lying.

 I just hope, the next person to be close with B doesn’t have a similar experience because I wouldn’t curse this shit on anybody and from what i’ve heard he is still manipulative to this day.

Author

WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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