As I write this, I am 16 years old. When I was 12, a stranger hit me across the head and proceeded to rape me, when I was walking in a park when it was getting dark. No amount of counselling or talking to strangers has helped me. I take one look at them – those eyes that say they are secretly judging my every word – and I can’t tell them. I never told anyone about my past; I just dealt with the nightmares and the flashbacks and put on a daily facade, pretending that I was a perfectly normal person. It became routine, until that was shot out the window a few days ago, when I had a dream. It wasn’t just any dream though, it had a particularly vivid, realistic feel to it. Every dream I’ve had like that had always turned out to be prophetic. The issue is, that dream involved me being raped again. My whole act flew out of the window and I was struggling to cope, until I decided to start a blog, sharing my story and all its details with the world. This way I’ve been able to speak out about myself, without those judging eyes, without the questions. And it’s made me feel better. Finally I’m starting to feel like I can be a person again.
If you want to read my blog, where I go into much more detail about my ptsd, you can do so at coarv.blogspot.com. please share it, I want as many people as possible to see just how bad life after rape really gets.