Lindsay Lucas-Bartlett

My name is Lindsay. I was date raped while I was half way through completing my Masters Degree at a Drama School in London. It was a devastating experience for me and even more so that I had a “so-called friend” with me. At the beginning of the police investigation she backed up my story and then halfway through the investigation sided with the two men who were at the assault. As if the assault itself was not a blow to my life this “friends” denial was the last straw.

Feeling degraded, ashamed and embarrassed my life spiraled into a black storm and my schoolwork suffered drastically. One of my teachers actually told me that I should stop my degree at the postgraduate; he said I would not pass my Masters Degree if I carried on. Hearing that made me “wake up”, not completely but it motivated me no end. I knew deep down that I could not let these people ruin my life and I was determined not to let them as hard as that may have been.

It was tremendously difficult and I had a lot of help from counselors, family and friends to whom I will always be eternally grateful. I put my head down and started to focus on the short-term end goal. Just before my Masters thesis was due in my brother killed himself so not only did I have what I was going through to deal with I had another life changing event thrown into the works. Needless to say, I lost all faith in this world completely. But you can’t stop, the world keeps turning and you can either get sucked down or you can move with it.

I completed my Masters Degree and I PASSED! (Do NOT let anyone tell you that you cannot do something, EVER!)

Next goal was to move to Los Angeles to study for two months at an acting studio, I had never had any interest in going to LA however a friend was super in love with the place and so I went along for the ride. I can honestly say it changed my life for the better. I may have still been in a ‘zombie’ state but it motivated me.

While I started the process for my American Visa I traveled to Australia, where I meet one of my old girl friends who knew about my assault and opened up about her assaults, not one but two. My mind was blown.

I moved back to London where I spent a year and a half having the most amazing time with my family and friends. I also meet some new friends and (because I’m a talker) turned out one of these new friends had also been assaulted, and we bonded instantly and I still adore her now even though we are so far away from each other. All these connections just opened my eyes to how many people have been assaulted and a lot of women do not talk about it, which to me is shocking however we all deal with events differently.

In London I was working three jobs to pay for my visa but I can honestly say when I have a goal in my head I go full throttle after it and I was enjoy this process, and enjoying the process I was.

I moved back to LA in 2010 and I would say it took me about a year to really settle in and not knowing many people at all did bring up a lot of insecurities for me. I started back at therapy and had an amazing acting teacher who is still active in my life in some way; who I just adore. I was working through all the darkness in my life, which seemed to follow me from place to place until I stopped and started to really face it. Turns out you cannot run from things that you stop and face.

In 2014 I started working on The Vagina Monologues for the 2015 VDAY event and that is what really allowed me to open up and be at peace with what happened to me. That is when I was introduced to Lauren and the When You’re Ready team and even though it has been a slow process for me, sharing your story is scary, I am so grateful for this platform. Not only do I want to share my story but; I also want to share how I healed, and still am, over the years.

Sexual and physical assault is about power, people who chose to act on such aggressive feelings are projecting all their pain and anger onto you, if they know it or not. Assault happens to us and we carry it around with us, it is part of our history and there is nothing we can do about it. However, it does not define who we are, so please do not ever let it become ‘who you are’ because you are so much more then that.

Lindsay’s Story

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